Tiny Update

As a tiny update to yesterday's small update, I heard from my doctor yesterday. And the plan, for now, is to finish my course of steroids and sit tight. Basically, kind of wait and see what happens.

I see about 3 possible scenarios on how this could turn out:

1. I continue to improve a little even after tomorrow, when my steroids run out, and am able to get exercising back to the levels I was at pre-cold. (This is what I'm hoping for)
2. I finish the steroids and slide back, then we'll discuss a new plan or hospitalization.
3. I finish the steroids and maintain where I'm at as of today, no better, no worse.

In other news, my friend pointed out to me last night something like So thankful your hospital is not in St. Louis anymore. Yeah, no kidding, me too. I will reserve comment on the Ferguson stuff, maybe I'll let it out in another post, except for this one thing: It really bothered me when protesters shut down I-44 at Grand last night. That is the exit to get to SLU and Cardinal Glennon, both of which are fairly major hospitals in STL. 

I did a little shopping today for a couple items at Target and JCPenney. At JCP, all of the merchandise is perfectly displayed, everything is folded and stacked, and the whole store is looking quite sharp. There were hardly any people there, since I assume at this point most everyone is waiting until Friday (or Thursday, those family-hating shoppers!) to get the best deals. Once I used the 20% off coupon I had, the piece of clothing I got for Jarrod was 2 dollars cheaper than their "Black Friday Price". For the sake of my sanity, I will gladly pay two more dollars. Target was similar, with everything stocked as much as the shelves can hold, just waiting for holiday buyers to arrive in a few days. It was a little odd... like the calm before the storm, at Penney's especially. I'd love to see someone in retail do like a Tumblr of before/after photos from Black Friday. Because before, it looks quite nice, but I'm sure after only an hour or two, it is all completely trashed.

Small Updates

Good news first!

Good News—I'm doing the better. The prednisone is helping. It's not a home run outta the park or anything, but I have improved a little. I'm not nearly as breathless as before, so this is a good sign. As a refresher course: prednisone is a common steroid, and steroids are used to reduce swelling and inflammation. Ergo, my airways aren't quite as inflamed as they were and getting around has been easier.

Bad News—At this moment, I have no idea what this means for me. Does it mean I make it through this week and go in the hospital next week? Does it mean we try something and put off a hospital stay longer? No clue. I'm trying to call and check in with my doctor and give them a status update, like they wanted me to, so we can figure this out. I'm a little anxious over it, to be honest.

In other news, I started decorating for Christmas over the weekend. It's not something I have ever done before Thanksgiving, but not knowing where this whole maybe-going-in-the-hospital thing would leave me, I decided it would be best to just start on it. Trust me, I'm not putting the tree up or a manger yet, but I put up some garland and most of my snowmen yesterday. If I do go in to the hospital at any point between now and Christmas, it would be about 2 weeks of lost time for shopping or decorating. Plus, Jarrod wouldn't know where I'd want all my snowmen to go anyways, but he can still put up the tree and the manger in my absence, if needed.

But the other exciting thing is we got our treadmill out of our front room and downstairs where it will have it's new home in the "bonus room." It is so wonderful to have that space back, the house feels little less like we're still in a construction zone now. It is so much more open now that the treadmill is gone. I'm sure Josie will be excited to have more room to play ball too! This also means we WILL be able to put up a Christmas tree this year. We didn't last year because the treadmill was taking up too much room, which I talked about here. But I am glad we can put up the big tree, hassle that it is, and enjoy it.

And Now for Some... Sad News

It's a Dan Anchorman reference...

Well... I wish this could be a cheerier blog post, and I'll just cut to the chase: I'm going to be back in the hospital very soon. (And I just got the idea that I totally need to bring my Animaniacs DVD sets with me! Why have I never thought of this before?)

So remember that cold I had 5 weeks ago? I never really got much better from it. I mean, I did get 'better' but I did not get back to baseline, and in the past week I've slowly gotten worse.

Actually, the moment I realized I was most definitely getting worse was last Saturday. I went out with some friends for dinner (Jarrod was away hunting) and after dinner, I was suddenly very short of breath. During the drive home, I realized that I just needed to stay in for the rest of the night, and what I really needed was my oxygen tank. So Jeff & Johanna dropped me off back at home and I stayed in, did a treatment, and sat around with my oxygen for a little while. I started to feel better, but not by much.

Then this past Tuesday, I tried to return to the gym. I've been to the gym a few times just to walk on the treadmill, and I treadmill here too, but I have not lifted weights since I got sick. Tuesday I thought I was feeling up to it and was ready to return. I figured I might not be able to lift as much because, wow, [I realize in writing this that] it was 5 weeks ago I got this cold; that is a long time to go without going to the gym. But... Tuesday didn't go so hot. I only tried two machines and ended up having coughing fits both times. I gave up and told Jarrod I was going home... I cried in the car. I was so disappointed that I had made such good progress with gaining strength and a little bit of muscle, and right now I can't even maintain it. And I'm most likely going to lose most or all of it, and have to start all over.

Today I was scheduled for a PFT, and after those incidents, plus basically needing my O2 every night, I wasn't expecting things to go very well. Turns out my numbers are down to about where I was when I went in the hospital in September. We're going to try some steroids for a few days and see if I show any improvement with that. If not... I don't know what is going to happen. At this point, I don't know if they'll let me wait until after Thanksgiving, or if I'll be enjoying a hospital-turkey-dinner on Thursday.

So yes, I'm very sad that I only made it two months out of the hospital. However, circumstances were completely out of my control, and this is the exact reason why we have to be extra diligent, be so careful that I don't get sick: because it throws me in the hospital.

But, if I'm completely honest, I'm not all that surprised by this news today and I am also ready to feel better. It is a real struggle getting around, especially in the evenings like I said. It's like by the time the day is done, my body is so worn out that it stops functioning properly, and just walking across the house makes me winded. My house is a disaster because I haven't felt up to cleaning anything for weeks and now I feel even worse. It's hard to even get dressed sometimes, without getting short of breath.

So, let's hope that the steroids help and I can at least stay out of the hospital next week.

The TV Situation

Jarrod and I have been tossing about the idea of dumping our satellite TV for a while now; almost to the point where some may be asking 'Why don't you just get it OVER with already!?'

Well, we have finally made a decision on our TV situation. And...

We are going to officially "cut the cord" and no longer have TV on December 1st.

We did a two-week trial of living without TV, which started four-ish weeks ago. The rules were:

• you can only watch local channels (as it would be if we had an antenna)
• you can't record anything to the DVR
• you can't pause the TV
• but you can watch things already on the DVR, which would be like a streaming service

The first week was a little difficult, for me at least. Jarrod would have ditched satellite a long time ago if it was up to him. But I knew part of it was just a mental thing, really. Since I knew I still had the channels there, I just couldn't watch them, it was playing games with my brain; you always want what you can't have—just like really wanting a big hamburger on Fridays during Lent. But by week two, I had gotten used to barely watching local channels, watching a lot more Netflix, and kind of forgot all those other channels were even there. And I didn't care. 

Our satellite auto-billed, so with this month already being paid for, I'm not going to try to cancel mid-month and argue with them to refund me my money. Plus, this way we get a little more time to watch a few things stored on the DVR and time for Jarrod to build an antenna. 

We will be canceling in 11 days. And hopefully we'll never look back. 

I honestly doubt we will. While we "didn't have TV" I would watch things on Netflix. And the things I was watching were shows or movies I actually wanted to watch, instead of just whatever was on the channels. Because the sad truth is that, even though I could hypothetically do this anyways, while still keeping my satellite, the satellite is like the default. It just becomes habit: When I turn on the TV, I turn on the satellite and try to find something to watch. I usually just watch something, even if it's not that great, because it's right there and it's what's in front of me. Without that option, I immediately turn to Netflix instead, where I have all kinds of things queued up that interest me. On top of that, I swear that ever since we made this decision, more often there is nothing on TV that I even want to watch. And I end up turning it off anyways. Why am I paying for this?

I've found out that more people our age have this kind of setup than I originally thought. And it's common with my generation: no TV, just watch online. With the announcements of HBO and CBS creating their own streaming services, I think more channels are going to follow suit and the traditional definition of TV is going to change fairly soon. That's not to say television as we know it is dead, because there are still many reasons for some people to keep their cable, like watching live sports games, lacking a good internet connection, or just preferring the convenience of it.

But as more and more people like us "cut the cord" the networks are going to be scrambling for that lost advertising money and it's going to be exactly like the newspapers—which also means that it is going to take them a long time to figure out a workable model for this.

Somewhere back in the early 2000s, newspapers started to realize 'Hey, we're losing print subscribers, everyone's online, but they don't pay for what they read online... why are we giving away all of our news for free?' And then around 2010-2011 you started to see paywalls popping up. I predict a near-identical outcome for the big TV companies. The difference is that the networks can at least place ad-rolls on the videos, and those aren't that different from having commercials during shows in the traditional sense. For newspapers, an online ad is not a print ad and never will be a print ad, and online ad revenue rarely makes up for lost print ad revenue. But I predict that in the future, most every cable channel will either come up with their own streaming service, place everything behind a paywall in some form—either a "hard paywall" where you pay for all or nothing or what is called a "soft paywall" or a "pay screen" (like a screen door) where you get some episodes free, after that you have to pay—or they are going to place even more ads on the videos. 

On a random note: Hey remember YouTube before it had ads? Oh... those were the days...

So why are we doing all this? Well, for a few reasons:

• To save money—Even if we signed up for both Hulu Plus and Amazon Prime for streaming more movies and shows, we still save about $400-500 a year. We can put that towards things we'd enjoy way more than our crappy TV channels we barely even watch.
• To spend time in other ways—For me, I hope that I will spend less time in front of the screen and more time doing other things I enjoy, like reading or crocheting. Or once we move the treadmill downstairs, I can play the piano again. 
• Less frustration—I've touched on this one before, but TV really frustrates me in 2 ways. 
• 1. It is really frustrating to look through all of your 100+ channels and see that there is NOTHING on there that sounds remotely appealing. Now I won't have that problem. Yes, I expect there will be times I can't find anything on Netflix either, but so far I have not had that problem. If anything, I've had the opposite of having too many things that I can't keep up.
• 2. The stupidity of TV, in commercials and in shows. Almost any new reality show that has been introduced in the past 3 years is a regurgitation of some other kind of show. For example: Deadliest Catch was almost 10 years ago, and there have been a ton of other 'obscure careers that you didn't know were fascinating until now' shows. And then, of course, in 2012 we hit the bottom of the barrel with Honey Boo Boo. Because sadly, America likes to watch train wrecks. With the exception of Swamp People, haha, I just can't bring myself to watch this stuff. It just doesn't interest me in the least. So now I don't even need to worry about it, I won't even know it exists, so I won't have anything to be frustrated about. And as far as commercials, Netflix and Prime don't even have them, and Hulu only plays a fraction of the ads you deal with normally. 

So it's se la vie to TV in less than two weeks! If you're interested in switching to the dark side with us, feel free to message me. We did a lot of research while making this decision, I'd be happy to share what we found out.

Friday Fast 5

1. We should all enjoy this weekend because after that, the cold officially sets in. I'm not excited for it so soon, but I'm not surprised. I really don't know why anyone should be surprised; we had one of the mildest summers in a long time, of course the cold weather is going to happen even sooner because of that. Looks like deer season might actually be cold, unlike the past couple years where it was too warm.
2. I wish there were stricter laws for "mature drivers". In our state, you have to renew your license every 6 years, and if you're over the age of 70, it's every 3. To that I say: woo hoo... who cares? What needs to happen, I feel, is that they need to retake the actual driving test (there are states that require this, ours is not one of them.) Eyesight and being able to read signs are not the only components of driving; slow reflexes, not to mention having just the mental capability to think quickly, go completely unaccounted for. The reason I'm complaining about this is today, this old lady almost caused an accident with me three times! THREE TIMES, with JUST ME! First she pulled out in front of me at the stoplight (making a right onto Hwy. 100 while I was turning left from Hwy. 47; she pulled out so late that I almost ran in to her), then she signaled to get in the left lane and merged without looking, then I changed lanes and was trying to pass her and she just drifted back over (no blinker) into the right lane and almost sideswiped me again. I was blaring my horn at her for that last one, and I don't think she even noticed. This lady should NOT be on the road. Beware the turquoise Chevy Equinox with the white-haired lady in it! I know giving up your license can be difficult for older citizens, emotionally, but for the safety of others sometimes it just needs to happen. There are some who do it willingly, like my great grandpa I believe, and my grandma limits herself to short drives only during daylight hours, but there are many who don't.
3. I got some Starbucks today—which I haven't done in a LONG time. I think their prices went up... luckily I had a gift card. Wow, no wonder people can go broke getting a coffee drink every single day at over $4 a pop. Anyways, it was 470 calories of yum in a cup!
4. Speaking of high calories, my weight's been holding steady! I was worried I'd drop back a few pounds with that cold. Eating is not very enjoyable with a cold; nothing tastes right because you can't smell, milk sounds gross when you're all snotty and coughing, it's really hard to keep your appetite up. But looks like I survived, which is very reassuring.
5. I've started to see people putting up their Christmas trees. I really don't get that one... part of the 'specialness' of it is that it is up for a limited time. Less limited=less special. But that's just me. Am I weird?

It's That Time Again

Yes, it's that time again, where I take a few moments to complain about the now-commonplace

acceptance that the Christmas season immediately follows Halloween. And every time I enter a retail store for the rest of the year, I will let out a sigh of disappointment at the displays.

Christmas has been encroaching on August more and more for years now, but it is now accepted that every store—from the local mom and pop's to the national chains—will have everything Christmas starting on November 1. Which is just more proof that if you do something enough and repeat the mantra enough times, people will just roll over and come to accept it as normal.

As early as Halloween night, stores have cleared their shelves and moved in Christmas candy, those feel-good mug gift sets that no one really asks for, and all-things-Santa and no-things-Jesus. It is ironic, as someone stated, that Christmas has been turned into the most materialistic holiday ever, when it is about the birth of the most un-materialistic man to ever walk the earth.

So once again, I'm going to hold out and not buy anything Christmas until it's after Thanksgiving.

Poor Thanksgiving, no one cares about you anymore. No one wants to be thankful.

I think I'm finally turning the corner and starting to feel better, after well over a week of ridiculous amounts of coughing, low oxygen, and having a hard time falling asleep. I started a higher dose of meds Friday, and I really think that is helping. I came up with a good analogy to explain why it's so hard for me to fall asleep, in case anyone was confused by that. So, it's like a bottle of molasses. And when you tip the molasses over and lay it down, it starts to slowly shift place. That's what happens to me, laying down and the shifting of mucus tickles all of the little airways and thus: coughing galore! Oh yay.

I had milestone on Saturday... I had to wear my oxygen out in public for the first time. I've worn it around family and friends, but never before have I needed it out in public, around other people. We had a funeral to go to Saturday morning, our friend's father passed away, and that morning my sats were 90% so I felt it a good idea to bring a tank along. I wore it in the car ride there, and tried going without it for a time to see how I felt. It was more comfortable with it on, and I didn't feel I had to work as hard to just breathe normally. So... I toted my oxygen tank, strapped over my shoulder, into church. I know I received a few stares, a few eyes lingered on me more than usual. I understand, people are curious—What in the world does that normal-looking young woman need oxygen for? But honestly, it went quite well.