Just Some Thoughts & Tidbits

I hope I'm not upsetting anyone over what I'm about to say, because I loved seeing all of my family members, but I am very glad that Christmas is over. We have so many Christmas celebrations to attend and by Saturday, I was downright exhausted. And not, like, normal-person exhausted, but CF-related-running-myself-into-the-ground-I'm-going-to-get-sick-if-I-don't-stop exhausted. I slept or laid around practically all day on Saturday, but it wasn't enough. I'm finally feeling a bit more up to snuff today, but wow I was running low on gas.

But Christmas was great. It was really nice visiting with everyone, especially my cousin Megan from the Watson side, who I haven't seen in ages. We have a tendency of missing each other at family get-togethers, either I'm there or she's there but we're rarely both there. So that was nice, and it was great meeting her boyfriend.

Saturday was a ruff day, pun intended. Friday night was when all of this rain started, and it all began with a whole bunch of thunderstorms. Josie's storm anxiety has gotten worse, and I was up for a while trying to deal with her. It's hard, and a long story, but we have tried about everything we're supposed to do but it doesn't seem to help a whole lot. I have a couple ideas for our next steps, but yeah. Off and on Saturday there was thunder and lightning, so she was stressed out pretty much all day. Poor thing.

But it's back to real life now. I have to work all week except for New Year's Day, which is typical. Though I'm pretty sure if the newspaper said We're foregoing our usual Weekend Edition due to the holiday (for Christmas, too), I doubt anyone would mind. But that would be blasphemous; the news must go on!

Jarrod started his week off by having to replace our garage door opener. Fun fun fun... He determined it was unfixable and we needed a new one. It started acting up Christmas Eve, he took the dog out Christmas morning to find the door had actually only half shut and been half open all night long. But at least the new one has a keypad, which is something we kind of missed from the Wentzville house.

As you may recall, he also replaced our garbage disposal last month, and next month we'll probably be needing a new hot water heater. So we're pretty tired of things breaking around here. It's all hitting about the same time, isn't that always the way?

In better news, I have been out of the hospital for 6 months! Woo hoo. However, I am on an antibiotic right now. I started it last week because I was coughing more and more, especially waking up at night. I don't think I had two-consecutive nights where I didn't wake up coughing in well over two months, so I was pretty darn tired of it. I'm hoping this gives me a small 'boost' and I can continue my stay out of the hospital. I can't say I'm feeling a ton better at the moment, but I'm hoping it'll help.

It's funny, though, because CF is such a huge roller coaster ride. I completely acknowledge that I am only prolonging the inevitable. I still think it's a good choice, because as I've said before, the less I need IV antibiotics the better. The more time that I can stay away from antibiotics in general, the better it will be for me and the less resistance I will have to these meds. But still, eventually I will go back in, which would be the lowest point of the roller coaster, and then I will go back up a sharp hill quickly, stay on top for a little while, then slowly descend over months and months until my little roller coaster car comes to the bottom of another hill. And then it's back up again!

15 Books in 2015

I continued my book reading challenge this year, and upped the ante by one. And I even reached my goal in November! I plan to keep on track with matching how many books I read with what year it is, and am planning to read 16 books next year. I'm not sure when I'll reach my threshold, when it'll be too many books, but so far I haven't had too much trouble reaching my goals. It's one small thing in my life where I actually set a goal and attain it.

Without further ado, here were the books I read in 2015 and a few thoughts on each:

Born to Bark—The big reason I read this book is because it's about a cairn terrier, and it was a joyful story about a feisty little dog.

Everything Is Illuminated—I liked the movie, but I had a hard time getting into this book. The main reason was the writing style, which was very different and full of run on sentences, conversations, and paragraphs. The style did not help the story, it hindered it. Would not recommend, but if you're up for a quirky movie, check that out.

Memoirs of a Geisha—This one was good, it's really interesting to read about the geisha culture from long ago. The story is fiction but based very much in history.

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns—This book was supposed to be the créme de créme of graphic novels, along with Watchmen (which I loved), but I found this one hard to follow due to the extremes in illustration.

The Martian—When I finished this book I said "It'd make for a good movie", and little did I know they already were filming it (Matt Damon wouldn't have been my first choice for the character.) This book is Apollo 13 meets Castaway. Really good modern sci-fi.

The Rosie Project—Not sure what I expected from this one, but it didn't really wow me like it did for many other people. A guy creates a test to find the perfect woman for him, you can probably guess how the rest goes. Intriguing characters, an easy read, but not mind-blowing.

A Dog's Purpose—I continued my guilty pleasure for dog books with this one, and it did not disappoint. I cried multiple times and really enjoyed it. This book is about multiple dogs, and the ending is really satisfying.

Alice's Adventures In Wonderland—Some find this book delightful, I couldn't stand it. I've never been a big fan of the Disney movie, I don't know why I thought this might be any better. It's just SO darn weird.

The Girl On the Train—This was one of 2015's 'hot books' for the year, but I wasn't overly impressed. The story wasn't bad, but it was very dark. The main character was hard to sympathize with, and that's a big deal for me. If I don't find myself caring about the main character, then I don't really care what happens to them, ergo I'm not really hooked into the story.

I, Toto—This was a quick little read about the dog who played Toto, and it was cute and short. Kind of like the dog, haha.

To Kill A Mockingbird—I read this back in high school and wanted to re-read it now as an adult. The book still holds up, and some of the themes had more relevance now than they did back then. This one is a good one to revisit.

The Nightingale—I really enjoyed this one. It's about women living in France during WWII. Not much is written about all of the women who had to stay home while their husbands went away to war, so this was a great story about a different perspective of the war. It made me think.

Merchants of Doubt—This non-fiction book details how companies and organizations through the years have worked to sew doubt when scientists try to say their product/what they're doing is wrong. Example: big tobacco campaigning to prove second-hand smoke isn't bad, or politicians saying global warming can't be true. It was ironic that I started this book the same week Coca-Cola was caught paying scientists to say that sugar doesn't make you fat, diet doesn't matter, it's exercising that matters. It was quite the eye-opener, and I now see these scenarios playing out all the time. Highly recommend if you want to understand how big corporations and big government work these days.

Room—It's been a while since I've had a book grip me like Room did. A good suspenseful, interesting book that should make for a good movie.

City on Fire—Officially the longest book I've ever read at 944 pages. The story was kind of intriguing, taking place in 1970s NYC, which was a bleak time in the city's history. But it could have been cut down 200-300 pages easily, and made for a better, more refined novel. By the end, it was a bit of a bummer to realize I'd just wasted so much time reading this enormous book that I only found "intriguing." Read at your own risk, it's a long haul.

Friday Fast 5

1. Today was a cold but sunny day, so it's not so bad. The piggies were out and about at Todd Geisert Farms when I stopped by to get us some bacon. It made me smile watching them trot around and play in the field.
2. Jarrod and I went to the Star Wars opening last night. We were very, very excited; it's not every day that there is a new Star Wars movie. We decided to head to the theater about 40 minutes ahead of time, and good thing we did. The theater was probably about 80% full already! It was a relief that we ended up with good seats, and by 'good seats' I mean that we weren't sitting by any crying children, we weren't by anyone talking, we weren't by any obnoxious teens. Thank goodness. We both really liked it, I loved BB-8, and I'll leave it at that. Spoilers are easy to come by these days, and I am not going to add to that problem. 
3. Due to the movie, I have also had the Imperial March (the Darth Vader song) pop in my head multiple times a day all week long. It's getting a bit old...
4. I've got all my Christmas shopping done, and I am very glad for that. And, I accomplished at least three-fourths of it online. The last thing I want to do is go out shopping this final weekend before Christmas. No thanks.
5. Yesterday, I had errands to run and my final one was shopping at Aldi. I got there and realized I forgot my bags, then realized my quarter for a cart wasn't in my car—I usually keep one in the cup-holders for this purpose. I dug through my purse but didn't find one there either. I was disappointed, and resigned myself to the fact that I would have to grab two things I absolutely needed and could carry, and come back another time to get the rest. I got out of my car, and this older man said "Do you need a cart?" I said sure, and he pushed it my way and said "Merry Christmas!" and I replied "Thank you sir." It just really, really made my day. The prospect of having to return to the same store a day later... sigh... not fun. I tried to pass on the goodwill when I was finished, but there wasn't anyone going in the store at that time needing a cart. So maybe next time.

Going Solo at the Movies

I was having a bit of a rainy day too, Charlie Brown.

Today I did something I've always wanted to do: go to a movie by myself.

I have been excited for The Peanuts Movie ever since I heard they were making it. And once I saw some of the first promo images for it, I was even more so. Half of the reason I love animated movies so much, aside from being young at heart, is because of the animation and the creativity. And the style they used for this movie made me smile, it just looked so darn cute and perfect for taking a flat cartoon to a 3D animated movie.

The movie came out a while ago, we never got around to seeing it, and I would check movie times almost every week to see if it was still there. Well, today was the last day before our local movie theater retired it to move on to a new film, so it was my last chance. The showtimes were 1:30 or 4:30, and the later time is cutting into dinnertime and when Jarrod would come home, so 1:30 or nothing.

After I ended up having a pretty crappy day at work, I decided I was definitely going to the 1:30 show right after my work day ended.

Not only did I go by myself, I was also the only person seeing the movie today. I think there were maybe 5 people there total, seeing other movies, based on the amount of cars in the lot. I had the entire theater to myself, which I find quite nice. This happened to Jarrod, myself, and Jeff once before when we saw Muppets Most Wanted. You can laugh as loud as you want, chat a little bit if you choose, and simply chill out like you were at home on your own couch.

I'm so glad I went. The movie was very cute, sweet, and had a story with heart. I laughed, I shed a couple tears, and it was exactly what I needed this afternoon. I walked out with a smile on my face.

1 Year Without Satellite TV

It's been one year since we cancelled our satellite TV. We have our local channels over the air via antenna, but that's it.

We don't miss it. At all.

I wrote all about it last year when we decided this was something we were going to do. We cancelled TV with the hopes of saving money, spending time in other ways, and to have less frustration. A year later I can say we have accomplished all of those things. Yes, we still watch things on our streaming services and all, but we have a much easier time just turning off the TV when we're not finding anything appealing to watch.

I also feel I have so much less aggravation now that I don't have cable channels. As I wrote about last year, I find the dirge of crappy shows the networks churn out aggravating. I don't want to watch them, I don't want to support them, and personally I feel better not putting our hard-earned dollars toward networks who create such shows. This year I also stopped watching the local TV news, and I am much happier for it as I've mentioned on here a few times. And I'm sure the not-so-noticeable blood pressure spikes and biological symptoms of anger and stress that came with all of that were not good for me.

I've had occasions, like when I'm in the hospital, where I have cable again and each time I have the same reaction: Wow, I am really NOT missing anything. I realize some people love their television, and if you're a sports person this would never work, but for me I feel getting rid of cable has been freeing for all the reasons I just listed. I'm so glad we finally took the plunge, and as always, if you're thinking of taking the plunge too, I'm more than willing to talk to you about it.

Kohl's Comparison

In case you're ever wondered when was a good time to buy things at Kohl's, I did some math to compare.

I placed an order with Kohl's on Black Friday, and felt like I got some pretty good deals. (When I mentioned in my previous blog how I might have gone out shopping that day, I was going to only go to Kohl's, but decided to shop from the comfort of my home instead. Kohl's in town is always a zoo on Black Friday, with a line that stretches halfway across the store depending on your timing.)

Kohl's prices were, I felt, heavily discounted for their Black Friday sale. The extra coupon code for Black Friday was 15% percent off, and $50 order to qualify for free shipping. I ordered all of my things, got free shipping, and ended up with a total of $85 (plus some cents.) 

Then on Saturday, their new Cyber Monday promo started offering a 20% off coupon and only $25 needed for free shipping. 

I was curious if there would be a difference, so I rebuilt my cart today with the same items I bought on Friday. Most of the items had higher prices, ranging from 3-10 dollars more, but one item was $7 lower. Then I applied the 20% off coupon, and my total was brought down to $89. Black Friday prices saved me about $4.50, obviously not a huge difference.

So, in case you were ever curious, there's the math. Depending on what you want to buy, Black Friday might be cheaper, but most likely it's going to be a wash between the two.

I usually don't make such an effort to shop this early, but I don't know, I guess this year I'm kind of anxious to get it done and not drag it out for the next few weeks. I semi-enjoy shopping, but I wouldn't say I love it. And dealing with crowds this time of year is not really my thing. 

Thanksgiving Weekend

Well, the long Thanksgiving weekend is coming to a close. Granted, I still had to work on Friday, but the extended weekend for most seemed to fly by quickly.

I'm not the first person to point this out, but every year I find it extremely ironic that we go straight from a holiday where we give thanks for what we have, to a day where we suddenly forget that we were thankful for anything at all and are out to find the best bargains for things we don't have. The disconnect is astounding. And lately, the two tend to overlap, though I was glad to see some retailers scaling back this year on the Thanksgiving Day sales.

I myself did some Christmas shopping from the comfort of my recliner, with a blanket on my lap and Josie curled up at my feet. I almost went out, but it was cold and rainy and staying put, not standing in line, warm blankets, and a sleepy pup was a much more attractive plan, haha.

Saturday was a nice relaxing morning, and I ended up going out to a couple local businesses downtown. I didn't find any gifts, but I did stop by my new favorite coffee shop Jennie & Grace, which is owned and operated by fellow CF-er Carla. The coffee there is delicious, seriously, you should try it if you're around and craving some. Then, when I returned home... Jarrod had everything pulled out from under the kitchen sink when I walked in the door, so something was not right. Everything was soaked and he discovered the garbage disposal was broken and had been leaking slowly in our cabinet underneath. Oh goodie. So, we would need a new one.

And while he was at it, he figured he might as well replace the kitchen sink. Back when my parents remodeled their kitchen, they updated their countertops and could no longer use their original sink; they went from a normal sink to one of those under-mount kind. They gave us the old one, which was better quality and had one of the sides deeper than the other, and it's been sitting in our garage ever since.

So we are currently without a kitchen sink, or a dishwasher since that's all the same plumbing. The giant hole in the countertops where the sink used to be is kind of weird. We've been paper-plating it with leftovers and dining out, not much cooking. Luckily we have the small sink in the bar downstairs, so we do have the capability to wash a few things but nothing too crazy since it doesn't have a disposal on it. We're currently waiting on the new disposal and faucet to come in from Amazon. Yay for being Prime members and getting this stuff in two days! I'm also very thankful for a handy husband. Plumbing isn't exactly his favorite thing, but after doing all of the plumbing in the basement I'm pretty sure he can handle this one.

Snowy Saturday Morning

Upon checking the weather this morning, I discovered the very-distinct-line between rain and snow was upon our town. I opened the curtains and decided to lay in bed and semi-watch for the snow to arrive.

Sure enough, in about 15 minutes, the wet sloppy snowflakes began. So we officially had our first snow of the season. It wasn't much, but I don't think Josie enjoyed it while she was out.

I contemplated going to get coffee this morning. Last week a friend and I caught up over coffee at a new coffee shop in town, and it was delicious. But in the end I decided to haul out my espresso machine and [attempt to] make myself a cappuccino. I haven't used it in a while, and afterwards I remembered why I would rather just pay someone to make my coffee drinks.

I asked for an espresso machine a couple years ago for Christmas with the hopes of enjoying coffee shop-quality drinks at home, for about 10% of the price. I have a cheapy espresso machine, as far as those go; they can run into the hundreds and hundreds of dollars. So it's nothing spectacular, but I suppose it does the job. But it's all so involved. Getting out the coffee grinder, grinding the beans; setting up the machine, making espresso, steaming the milk, then the huge amount of cleanup because you just dirtied 8 different things just to make one cup of coffee. I am not good at steaming milk, which is pretty much the key to the latte or cappuccino. I can get the milk to bubble up, but they dissipate quickly, and within 10 minutes of completing my drink, it's cold, which is really disappointing when you spent more than 10 minutes setting up and making the darn thing. I can't gulp down espresso in 10 minutes, neither would I want to; it's a drink to be sipped.

So yeah... back on the shelf for the espresso machine, only to be pulled out in six months when I once again forget how time-consuming and involved the entire process is for very little reward.

A couple days ago was Josie's "Homecoming Anniversary." I originally called it an adoption day, but I realize some people might find that misleading since she wasn't "adopted" from a shelter. But yeah, I can't believe it was three years ago that we brought our little dog home!

She's snoozing next to my feet right now. The snow has stopped, but it's very cold and windy outside, so I think we're going to stay in for most of the day and stay warm :)

Efficiency

I strive to be a very efficient person in my daily tasks. Every morning, while my breakfast is cooking in the toaster or in the microwave for three-point-five minutes, I proceed to get out all of my morning pills, which takes about two minutes of my time. Or I'll make coffee. In the shower, I hate having to wait for the soap to run to the end of the bottle, so I will usually buy soap pumps or turn the bottle upside down even if it's not running low; it takes seconds off of my time otherwise wasted waiting for the soap to come out. If I have multiple errands to run and stops to make, I will map out the best route in my head ahead of time so I can maximize drive-time. By nature, I walk at a fairly good pace (I'd never make it in the South, people there like to take things slow and easy... haha.)

It's something that is ingrained in me, somehow. Maybe it's something I picked up from my parents. Maybe it's because subconsciously, I want to make the best use of my minutes since I have to dedicate so many of them to treatments and taking care of my CF. Who knows.

But having a lung disease does not allow for efficiency.

More and more, I find myself getting winded when I'm walking, and I have to consciously slow down my pace. I wouldn't say I'm rushing, just walking at a decent speed. But, I also have my short legs working against me and it always takes at least 1.5 steps for me, when it might take someone of average height 1 step to cover the same distance. But I have to make myself walk slower, nonetheless, so I don't put myself into a coughing fit.

Sometimes, if I'm sick, I have to go about my entire day at a slower pace and again consciously, deliberately slow myself down.

And I hate it.

I really don't think I'm trying to cruise through life without stopping to smell the roses, but all of this made me wonder: maybe I am? Should I quit worrying about constantly saving a minute here and there? Part of me says No, those minutes add up, and part of my says Jamie, you're being silly, let it go. Why not worry about the other minutes your ARE actually wasting?

Sometimes my dog will remind me to literally stop and smell the roses. Or an evergreen bush—there's something interesting about one of them that she always has to stop and investigate. She always makes me smile when she does that. Am I missing out on other opportunities to smile in life?

Super duper checkup!

I had a checkup in Columbia today, and it was great! I'm so happy and really proud of myself and my hard work.

Last time I was there in August, my lungs were not so hot. I was having FEV1's of 26%, which is not cool and not where I want to be. In addition to that, I wasn't feeling that great either. I didn't have a ton of energy, at least not the normal amount I was used to, and I got short-of-breath easily. Of course, it was to be expected with numbers like what I had.

Despite having such low lung numbers, I just didn't feel sick. I hadn't caught anything, neither did I feel it necessary to do antibiotics at the time. My doctor agreed, and I resolved to try and beat this on my own. I knew it was going to be tough, since I didn't have a lot of wiggle room per se.

The other problem I had was my weight was down, which could have very well contributed to my lower lung numbers. I've experienced that before when I was at Cardinal Glennon. There was a time my weight was down and I was basically told "Either you get your weight up on your own or we're going to really get serious about a g-tube." I put the pedal to the metal, ate a bunch of ice cream, added in extra calories, and gained weight.

But for the past two months I've been really struggling. I would gain a couple pounds, then lose it immediately the next week and be right back at square one. It was hard. I know I've said it before, but it is exceedingly true, gaining weight for me is just as hard as it is for others to lose. So if you know how it feels to lose 2 pounds, then gain back 3 in a week, just put that in reverse and you have my situation; it is just as frustrating and hard to deal with.

I've been working really hard to get more calories in my day. I was also working to keep up with walking on the treadmill to get my lungs breathing better, and a couple weeks ago I finally started going back to the gym on a regular basis. And things were starting to improve.

Finally in the past couple weeks, my weight started to come back up. And when I hopped on the scale today in clinic, I was glad to see it hadn't changed; even went up a little.

Then I did my PFTs and was so relieved that my numbers were back in the 33% area, and I even reached 1.00 (as in one liter of air in the first second [FEV1]).

In addition to that, it was time for my yearly oral glucose tolerance test, which I completed last Friday. The results were good and my blood sugars are normal, so once I again I have avoided diabetes for another year! So that was a relief.

So yeah: my weight is up, my lungs are better, I'm not so short of breath, my blood sugars are in check, I got my flu shot (Did you get yours!?), all good news all around! I am elated. I realize that this won't always be the case, and there will be times—as there have been in the past—where despite everything you do, things just don't work out and CF messes up your life. But for now, I'm going to bask in the joy of today and my good news.

A Fresh Start

I'm feeling hopeful at the moment.

On Tuesday, I went to our gym and cancelled our membership. Our friends cancelled theirs at the end of September and frankly, we haven't been there in a month. The main reason we joined that particular gym was so we could work out with our friends, because everyone knows it's best to have a gym buddy and help keep you going. But since that was no longer a factor, there really wasn't any reason to stay at that gym.

Right after I cancelled our membership there, I signed us up at a different gym. I realize that might sound odd, since we've been lagging at our previous gym, but we both want to make going to the gym part of our lives. Last week, we went to check out this new gym right down the road from our house. Cleanliness and germs were becoming my biggest gripes of our now-previous gym because no one EVER wiped down equipment (obviously, that has to be a concern for me.) There weren't any wipes, to make it easy, there were only a handful of spray bottles with some sort of cleaner in them, and no one ever used them.

After visiting the new gym, which was clean and emphasized people wiping off the machines, our old gym looked grimy and kind of gross.

I think I'll feel more comfortable in this new gym, and it is most definitely more clean and less germy. Furthermore, it's right down the road from us. Yes, we live in a small city but still. We don't even need to drive through any stoplights to get there; if we don't want to we can take all roads through the subdivisions around our house! And if Jarrod ever wanted to, he could go before work because he wouldn't be backtracking and adding drive-time.

So right now I'm feeling hopeful. Maybe changing up the scenery was just what I needed to give me a new kickstart. I was recalling the other day how it felt to lift weights and how accomplished I felt when I could start to lift more. It was a good thing. And I can't deny that I felt better when I was lifting weights at the gym, too. I'm excited to start getting back to that. I've gone to the new gym two times, and I am hoping to keep my momentum going.

Our Experience with Greenies: A Cautionary Tale

Yesterday I bought a few of those Greenies chew treats that are supposed to clean a dog's teeth. I wanted to give them a shot because we are not good about brushing Josie's teeth. I always intend to, then something comes up or I really don't feel like it because it's such a battle with our dog. She does NOT enjoy it and wriggles and fights to get away, not to mention tries to lick all the toothpaste off or bite the brush when you're trying to reach the back molars. In the end, her teeth barely even get cleaned—though I guess 'barely' would still be better than 'never'. 

Anyways, I did lots of research about Greenies. If you're unfamiliar, they're a small toothbrush-shaped 'treat' you give your dogs that helps clean their teeth. It's not a hard treat but bendy and flexible and it's mostly made of wheat.

I'd heard the cautionary accounts about Greenies which ranged from 'my dog got sick' to 'my dog had to have emergency surgery because this thing got stuck and caused intestinal blockage'. As with anything, on the flip side, there are thousands of people who have no problems and their dogs love them. So what do you do? I went to Greenies website again yesterday to read about what they said about them, which in short is that Greenies are good for dogs, safe for dogs, with one important disclaimer that stands out to me: as long as they're chewed up correctly. 

The dog is supposed to chew on this thing and, ya know, chew it up, not bite it off and swallow it (ergo, intestinal blockages.) So I gave one to Josie last night... and she ate it in three chunks. Not cool. I tried to reach in her mouth and grab out the last piece, but it was no use. Then I began to worry a little. Thankfully, she showed no signs of illness within an hour; she hadn't vomited, she wasn't acting lethargic, and she wanted to play. We went to bed as normal, and I was praying she'd be okay, or that if she was going to get sick in the middle of the night, I'd wake up for it. She made it through the night and went to the bathroom this morning like normal. Yay. All good signs. 

I held back her breakfast just to be on the safe side. She was very confused and followed me around the kitchen a lot, hoping that one of these times I'd realize I forgot her breakfast and would go and get it haha. Poor thing. 

I thought we were in the clear but then around 11:00 she vomited. It was like it hit her all at once: she stopped dead in her tracks, head down, and eventually threw up. I called the vet and explained and they said to bring her by. We did blood work and an x-ray, which thankfully all came back fine. But based on her having a fever, plus large pockets of gas in the x-ray, the doctor said she probably has inflammation and gastritis. I've got some meds for her to help with her tummy and I'm going to watch her for a while and make sure nothing else crops up, plus encourage her to drink so her fever comes down sooner. 

Needless to say, I'm not buying Greenies again and I'm going to return the two individual ones I have left. I hate to be yet another alarmist on the internet, but I wouldn't recommend these anymore either. Right now I'm kind of guilt-tripping myself as to why I ever thought this would be a good idea. I've been hesitant about these for a while, and I should have just stayed that way, steered clear, but it's over and done. No use dwelling on that. I'm thankful that Josie is okay and her problems aren't any worse. 

Friday Fast Five

Five little things!

Number One
Josie is now on a diet, haha. I've kind of felt she was getting a tad heavy when I picked her up, so I weighed her the other day, and she is about 2.5 pounds over where I'd like her weight to be. So we cut back her food and plan to play with her a little more. I know she's not that much overweight, but I figure we might as well get her weight back in range before it becomes a problem.

Number Two
I'm really becoming unhappy with Facebook. This isn't going to be the usual Facebook rant of mine, but I've been noticing more and more items in my feed that I absolutely DO NOT care about. More often than not, it is showing me posts of things people liked or commented on from other people's pages. Why would I care that my friend commented on a post from one of their friends, someone I don't know?

I think I know what Facebook is trying to do: they're showing you these in hopes that maybe you know this person too and will friend them. But I don't know these people, so I don't give a care. It's getting kind of old.

Number Three
This afternoon I played ball with Josie outside, and while I was sitting there a hummingbird came by and got nectar from the rose bush!

Number Four
Please allow me a quick whine about my CF... It is a beautiful day today, cooler temps are on the way! I would love to sit outside and enjoy it this evening, but the problem is so does everyone else... with their fire pits. Which then means I'm stuck inside. Or I'd like to open up the windows and air the house out, but I can't. Even being many feet away from a fire, if I can smell it, then it will bother my lungs. I can't be around fire in the slightest. Trust me, I wish I could. I'd love to sit around a fire on a cool night as much as the next person. It's small everyday things like this that remind me why I really dislike CF. *Sigh...

Number Five

I'm not a very emotional person, but I shed a few tears this morning as the moment of silence and beginning of memorial services in NYC and DC were shown on the morning news. For some reason, I was overcome with emotions about the gravity of that day. 

Follow-up: Something Unexpectedly Awesome

My dad called me saying that he had something to drop off for me.

When he came by, he had a blue T-shirt in his hands. It was for me. 

Remember that biking event that I helped out with, and the team that came through this year, raising money for cystic fibrosis? Turns out... they sent the bike shop owner a shirt with their team logo and with a note that they wanted me to have it. He passed it onto my dad this evening. 

How thoughtful! I was touched, and felt kinda special that they remembered me. I intend to post a picture to their Facebook page of me wearing it with a note of thanks. It really made my day. 

Godspell at Church

Did anyone else think of Godspell with the second reading at mass this weekend?

Dearest brothers and sisters: All good giving and every perfect gift is from above,

coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no alteration or shadow caused by change.   James 1:17

It's been a while since I watched the Godspell movie from 1973, and I really forgot how hippy-dippy it is; possibly because the last time I saw it was in grade school... I think. Micki, our music teacher, let us watch it on days when we had a sub or on "popcorn days", which were days we earned to watch a musical movie. This scene, out of context, is laughable. But great music nonetheless! Here's the video (email peeps, YouTube clips don't show up in the email, so you'll have to view the post on the website to see it if you want):

I Don't Have Time

I can't take credit for this idea, but I had to pass it on.

Instead of saying "I don't have time" try saying "It's not a priority" in its place.

• It's not a priority to clean my house.
• It's not a priority to check up on my family.
• It's not a priority to read a book.
• It's not a priority to just sit and talk with my spouse.
• It's not a priority to exercise.
• It's not a priority to keep myself healthy, or get healthy if I've been lagging.
• It's not a priority to do something I truly enjoy.
• It's not a priority to call you back.
• It's not a priority for me to pray.

Kind of changes the way it sounds, doesn't it?

Obviously, there are times where we simply "don't have time." But if I'm honest with myself, it seems the reason I continue to neglect certain things is because I'm just not making it a priority.

Pick something you've been neglecting and work on it. I already have something in mind for myself.

There's Somethin' In the Water

Last week on Friday, our town was placed on a boil order due to water samples coming back positive for E coli. We boiled water, bought some ice, bought a few gallons of water, and didn't wash a lot of dishes. You could still use your dishwasher—we put ours on sani-rinse for extra coverage—but if you washed your dishes by hand you had to then immerse them in a tub of water-bleach mixture. I don't have a tub large enough for pots and pans, neither do I have a ton of space to keep the tub and then lay out all of these drying dishes. So yeah... we used our dishwasher mostly.

I would say that the presence of E coli shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone. Our city has had coliforms present in the water off and on for the past year. Coliforms are not harmful, but they are an indicator that there may be a bigger problem/worse bacteria in the water. That's, at least, what the city told us in our water bills because they are required to let us know. However, after looking into the issue a lot and talking to my doctor on Tuesday, they're not quite as harmless as made to sound. Coliforms show up easily in a water test, because sometimes there is bacteria there that is so small it is hard to get a good reading on it. My doctor also brought up the potential problem of inhaling the microscopic water droplets produced when you turn on a faucet, which is pretty unavoidable too, as I am not going to take a bath all the time or quit turning on taps. 

So the city chlorinated the system over the weekend, the tests came back negative, and our boil order was lifted yesterday, Wednesday. Woo hoo!

Then I read an article in the newspaper about the city's plans to NOT chlorinate the water henceforth. The city administrator said "We think we have quality water", and that it wasn't a matter of cost, but they basically didn't feel they had a problem. He conceded, though, that the EPA and Dept. of Natural Resources might not agree with that, and that the DNR could force them to do it if they felt they need to. Now, let's recap: we had one positive test for E coli that caused the boil order, and 5 out of the last 12 months of tests coming back failing due to coliforms in the water. That works out to be just over a 40% failure rate. I'm sorry, but that does not sound like "quality water" to me. We were placed on the DNR's "chronic violators" list because of it, too.

I was furious after I read this article. Prioritizing the taste of the water over making it healthy and safe to drink is absurd. If it truly wasn't a matter of costs, then not doing it because you just don't want to is flat out stupid. I would much rather, 1000% times over, have chlorinated water and know without a doubt that my water is safe and healthy to drink than have to sacrifice a little bit of taste with the chlorine. (Chlorine kills bacteria in the water, and that's why many municipalities use it. There are other ways to disinfect a water system, but they cost more, so chlorine is the most common.)

I have never gotten involved in politics, but after reading that the city was refusing to consider disinfecting their water, I started drafting a letter to the editor, letters to our city councilmen, and a letter to the DNR, and looked up when the next city council meeting was in case I wanted to attend. I was serious about this. I'm just thinking if I ever get more sick than I am now, or whenever I receive a transplant down the road, I want the peace of mind to know my water isn't going to potentially kill me.

For one, when we were notified about the coliforms in the water, it was after the fact. Or maybe during. Or who knows. All we were told was that a test failed somewhere in the city at some point in the last 30 days. I think that's pretty standard protocol, but it's not very informative when you really think about it. They also never specified if they found coliforms, total coliforms, or fecal coliforms, all of which are different. Some coliforms come from poop, some coliforms come from the earth (but so does pseudomonas (it's in the soil) and that's pretty much my enemy number one these days.)

Second, the city received the boil order notice last Thursday evening, yet didn't notify citizens of it until Friday around 10am. They have obviously received a lot of heat about that one.

Furthermore, I have lived in places with chlorinated water and I honestly didn't think it was bad. Yes, we've all drank water that tasted a lot like chlorine, but it sounds like once you strike the proper balance and have the right amount in the water it won't affect it that much. Wentzville and Maryville University had chlorinated water and I barely noticed. And if it bothers you that much, well that's what Brita pitchers are for.

Then today, the DNR gave a mandate ordering the city of Washington to chlorinate the water. I was so happy when I read it. Based on the comments on Facebook I received during work, most people were against it and unhappy about it, but there were some who felt like I did in that it is better to have to put up with the chlorine than have bacteria in it. If the city wasn't going to do it, I'm happy to see that the DNR made it happen.

CF Awareness

Last week was the annual Race Across America, aka RAAM, which is the crazy extreme bike ride across the entire country from California to Maryland. As usual, our town was along the route and once again the local bike shop was one of the time stations. Riders and their support crew from all over the world came right through our town. I think that's just so cool.

Our time station here is unique, because it's actually a destination instead of just some mile marker or a tent along the side of the road, and I have personally heard people say it's like an oasis and they think they're dreaming. The volunteers provide food, drinks, a little pool to cool off in, not to mention the bike shop to fix things, and—hopefully—good company and a change in the faces you see every day.

Last Wednesday I decided on a whim that I would help out for the afternoon. I talked with people from Australia, Brazil, Japan, and Britain. As Vicky, a lady who does this every year for as many hours a day as she can, says "I can't travel the world, but here the world comes to me."

So this one crew came in, and I'm talking to this guy, welcoming him and letting him know where he can find the food and drinks, the usual drill. He holds out his hand and says "Hi, I'm Jay." I said "I'm Jamie," and he chuckled and said "Oh, that's easy." He was their head crew chief, I found out, and I was asking where they were all from. Their group was from everywhere, from Arizona to New York, to Florida, plus a couple Europeans. He himself resides in Colorado.

I then asked what charity they were riding for and he says "Cystic fibrosis."

I think my mouth kind of fell open, I stopped and was like "Really?" And he, confused a little, said "Yeah."

I then told him "I have CF." He kind of put his arm around me and had the same awestruck facial expression I did when he initially said it. I almost couldn't believe it, and he walked me over to show me their van and there was the CFF logo right on the side.

So then he was asking me about what gene mutations I have, if I did the vest, how I'm doing, if I'd be able to take any of the new drugs they're coming out with, which are all great questions and clearly this guy actually knew about CF. I told him about my recent hospitalization and said I was doing well and getting back to the gym. I asked how he got involved with raising money for CF, and I believe he said a friend of his has a son with CF.

He wanted to introduce me to a bunch of people in their team, he said they'd want to meet me, and we obviously told them that I had CF. I thanked them for riding and such and they were all so nice. You hardly ever meet a group of crabby people during this RAAM, but this group was really fun and groovy. They hung out for a while too while waiting for their teams—typically some of the crew will venture ahead to take a small break when they can, so they were ahead of the people actually riding the bike.

This is Jay, my new best friend that day.

A little later Jay and I were chatting again, and he said "I'm sorry, I'm kind of tearing up. This is just..." and he shook his head in disbelief; I said "I get it, I think this is so great and I am SO happy we were able to cross paths." They were called Love, Sweat, and Gears (and in bike nerd-ness, they were also cool because they had a team riding on tandem bikes, which you definitely don't see every day.)

Augh... it was just the coolest thing! I mean, how awesome that I just happen to be working at a time station for this random bike ride at the exact time that a team comes through and they're raising money for CF? And I happen to strike up a conversation with their crew chief? I mean, how awesome is that!? It was definitely a God moment that all of this came together, clearly we were all meant to meet each other. I still can't get over it... SO COOL!

One of the tandem teams.

Fast-forward to last night, and I went downstairs to treadmill, I turn on the TV and was going to watch American Ninja Warrior while listening to some tunes. So, I can't hear the TV but I see this guy walk up and it says he's from St. Charles, MO, so hey that's cool. And he is wearing a shirt that says "CF Warrior" on it. Obviously that registered in my mind, but CF can stand for a lot of things so I didn't take much pause. Then they launched into his back story, like they do for some contestants on shows like this, and he's talking about his cystic fibrosis. I pulled out my earbuds to listen and wow, also a cool story/God moment.

He talked about how he decided to get in shape and exercise and doesn't need medicines as much to manage his disease (you have to be incredibly fit to do these ANW things [they make it look so easy, but it's incredibly hard stuff.]) And obviously, the commentators honed in on the inspiration part of it and such, but ya know what? It really was inspiring. For me, at least. Especially since I saw this right as I began my own workout, it inspired me to kick it up a notch. And I did: I ran 2 1-minute intervals along with the rest of my walk on the treadmill, and walked/ran a total of 1.35 miles in 30 minutes. Woo hoo! I had a short coughing fit when I was done, but I felt GREAT afterward.

It's Been A Long Week...

I had a checkup yesterday and we stopped my meds. Thank you Jesus. I was going to demand that's what we do, but my doctor said it before I even had to argue my point.

Oh man, it's been a rough week. I have been dealing with side effect after side effect. It all started last Tuesday with a stomach ache. From there it just continued to go downhill.

I had to have blood work done on Thursday for kidney functions and med levels, got there and found out they can't draw from ports in the lab. We could call up a nurse from the ER, but it might take an hour, and it was a timely thing, so I said no. I don't know what that girl did, but it was by far the most painful blood draw I have ever had in my lifetime. I was yelping, crying, and almost screaming in pain. It was awful. She didn't hit a nerve—I know what that pain feels like—but it almost felt like she was stabbing my muscle or something. Ugh! From there, we found out my med levels were WAY too high, and non-surprisingly my kidneys weren't doing great because of it either. So, not great news. We adjusted things and lowered my doses, which made my schedule a bit better. I also drank nearly 2000 ml (aka 65 oz.) of water Thursday to try and help the process.

All told, I had one or more side effects going on all the time for the entire past week:

• abdominal pain
• gastritis
• back pain
• lethargy/tiredness
• stomach cramps
• depression
• chest pain
• swollen lymph nodes, neck pain
• weakness

...and that's just partial list. It's been a pretty difficult week. I have never been so aware that I was essentially having to poison myself in order to get better. 

Lesson learned: If I'm ever on this medicine again, stay in the hospital for the full duration. 

Yesterday I woke up with chest pain—centralized around my heart area—and that was the final straw, I had my mind made up that I was DONE; no more of this. At this point, a few more days is not going to do me any good. What I need is to EAT normally again and EXERCISE normally, which have both been compromised since I've been feeling like crap. 

Today I'm already feeling a bit better. My chest pain is subsiding. I am also feeling much better mood-wise, and you can even hear it in my voice. My mom says I have more color in my face already, too.

Here's hoping for an even brighter day tomorrow!

Back at Home

Hi folks! I figured I was due for an update here.

I went in the hospital last Monday and came home two days ago. Things are going fine, though this time I'm dealing with a super resistant strain of germs. There were two bugs in my system this time, like usual, and one of them was resistant to practically everything except for two medicines, and even then it wasn't 100% sensitive. My doctor is currently on a trip to the holy lands, so the pulmonologist we also work with was filling in. I like this doctor too; he is aggressive in treatment and in getting things taken care of. He's also fairly easy-going, flexible, and kinda funny too.

So this doctor had been working closely with a pharmacist there to figure out what drug (of two choices) would be best case for us. Oh, and did I mention I'm allergic to both of the options? So in addition to that, I had to go through yet another desensitization process for the med we chose, which is a penicillin. As a crash course, if you're unfamiliar with that term, "desensitization" is a methodical, timed out process where they slowly introduce an IV drug into the system. It starts with like 0.01 grams, and you work up to a full dose, and it lasts about 5 hours. I met the pharmacist a couple times too, and he did a whole lot of math and analyzed things in my system that I don't even know about and chose the best possible way to deliver the drug, which would be every four hours. Typically it's every 6 or 8 but, again, for reasons beyond my scope of medical knowledge, he figured out that every four hours would be best. But... only for 30 minutes every time. So whew, not that bad.

All of that went fine and I have not had any sort of reaction at all to this day.

I came home this most recent Monday, two days ago, and have been doing home IVs. It's been going fine, but my schedule is demanding. I'm hooked up to meds for ten hours a day. The meds come in these little balls which slowly deflate, pushing the medicine in thanks to gravity or something like that. So granted, it's not like I can't do anything while these are going in, but I'm basically under house arrest. Not to mention, like I said, my one med runs every FOUR hours, and instead of a half hour like in the hospital, it takes one hour here at home. So the most time I ever have between doses is three hours, and yes this includes overnight with sleeping too. So yeah... demanding.

I'm feeling better, though still would like to get even "more better". I'm not super concerned about the resistant strain of bugs I'm growing right now. Maybe it's because I worked through all of those emotions last time when we thought it was going to be uber resistant, and it wasn't, but when I look through my entire history of cultures, each one is different. I am hopeful and have faith that next time, we'll see a different bug as well and will treat it accordingly. 

But I'm glad to be home and sleeping in my own bed. Jarrod had an idea to figure out a way to set up my meds and such in our bedroom, and I bought one of those plastic storage drawer thingies on wheels, rolled it in next to my nightstand, and tried it out last night. I must say, I think this is going to be one of the best things for handling this (I have to do these thru next Monday or Wednesday.) I feel much less tired than I did yesterday. There's just something about only having to wake up and walk a couple steps to hook up to the meds, versus walking across the house to the kitchen where I used to always do everything with my IVs. I don't have to wake up as much, in a way, so falling back asleep doesn't take as long. So props to Jarrod for coming up with that!

I'm also glad to be eating my own food, or whatever I damn well please (AND I got popsicles just in time for the hot weather! Popsicles should be enjoyed at any age, don't judge lol.) The food at the hospital has sadly gone WAY downhill since I first started going there. They've removed many choices from the menu, and the quality of the food has also gone down. For most people, this wouldn't be a big deal because their hospital stays are short. But for us CFers, who are there for 1-2 weeks, it's terrible. You can tell they're really cheaping out on the food, which is sad. No, people don't expect the food in a hospital to be amazing, but these days there are few excuses for it to be borderline inedible. In addition to that, the people working in the kitchen suck. I don't know if they just don't care, if they have no one doing quality control, or if there's a communication issue, but at least once a day my order was wrong or missing something, and I heard from the nurses that this is common for everyone; having that many mistakes every day is ridiculous. It's frustrating. So even though I'm not quite feeling up to cooking a bunch here at home, since I'm trying to get sleep when I can (three hours at a time), I'm still SO happy to get away from the hospital food.

That's about all I've got. I'm happy to have my dog here with me. I think she is tired because she wakes up with me when I get up for my meds during the night. So she's been a pretty lazy, sleepy dog, but that's okay. She was excited to see me when we got home, which warmed my heart so much.

Mini Update About the Mini Rabbits

The baby rabbits opened their eyes today!

So... silly me, I was figuring their age to be much younger than they actually are. In reality, they were probably born a week or so ago. I wasn't thinking about it, but of course rabbits would be born without fur and look like naked little creatures, and when I discovered them they were already covered evenly with fur.

I looked it up and bunnies open their eyes around day 7-10. I'm going to figure today is something more like day 10, since they would probably grow in fur by about a week. So in reality... they are probably 10-11 days old and in that case... will most likely hop away while I'm in the hospital.

Good News, Bad News

I had a doctor's appointment today, due to my illness. I felt it best, as did my doctor, to go see her today so we could do the PFT and she could listen to my airways to get a clearer picture of where we're at sick-wise.

And I got some good news, and bad news.

The good news is I'll get to go to the wedding this weekend...

The bad news is I'll go into the hospital immediately after on Monday.

So yeah, that's just how it is. I'm glad it worked out this way, but I'm also very ready to feel better. If at any point I get worse or change my mind, I just need to call them and I can come in sooner. 

In other newsy news, we have baby bunnies in our yard! I am checking on them every morning just to make sure their mother is still coming back (and didn't, like, get hit by a car or something...) Yes, that's okay to do; I looked it up and the whole 'Oh no! Now the mother won't come back to her nest and she'll abandon her babies because it smells like humans!' is a myth. I'm assuming that this myth was born out of the fact that rabbits don't spend much time on their nests. As I also found out in doing a little research, they only stop by once or twice a day to nurse their baby bunnies so as not to attract too much attention to the nest. So even though most people assume that mother rabbits abandon their nests frequently, in reality it's probably not the case because you're just not noticing the 10 minutes out of the day she's actually there. So as long as the babies are warm and seem to be growing, the mother is still around. If I ever find the baby bunnies are cold and not moving much, then it's time to call someone. I'm actually sitting outside right now as I type, hoping to see her stop by. Supposedly she'll come by around dawn and dusk. 

Anyways, they are the cutest darn things! They are so teeny tiny and don't even have their eyes open. I really hope they make it. The nest is in a hole in our yard, so as they get bigger I wonder how well they're going to stay concealed. 

We discovered them after Jarrod was cutting grass. Right after we returned from our cruise, I noticed this huge divot in the yard. It kept growing. Then two days before we discovered the rabbits, I saw FOUR rabbits in the yard. Holy cow. Then on Saturday Jarrod cut the grass, and when he looked back he saw some rabbit fur (which they use in their nests) but then he saw the fluff was moving so he checked it out, and sure enough there were teeny little bunnies down there. They're hidden under 2-3ish inches of fur and grass, and I think there are three of them, maybe four. Thank goodness they stayed put and didn't run out with the noise of the lawn mower! Ah—that would have been dreadful!

I told Jarrod he needs to check on my bunnies while I'm in the hospital. They might be there for another two weeks or so, so I hope I'm home to see them one last time!

The day I discovered the nest. 

Back from Vacation

Jarrod and I returned a couple weeks ago from a cruise vacation. We didn't book it all that much in advance, and in effect didn't get around to telling many people about it.

Our Carnival cruise left out of Galveston on May 2nd and we travelled to Roatan (one of the Bay Islands of Honduras), Belize, and Cozumel.

The beach we went to in Roatan was actually just voted the third best beach in the world on Trip Advisor, and I have to agree: it was the most beautiful beach I've been to so far. The water was incredibly clear and there were fish everywhere. The barrier reef in the Caribbean extends down to Roatan, and is the second largest in the world after the one in Australia. Jarrod had brought a snorkel along, and he said it was really cool. He saw numerous kinds of fish and coral. I wanted to try my hand at it too, but I didn't swim out very far because I didn't want to get too tired (little did I know, Jarrod actually followed me out there in case I did get tired, which was so sweet.) I made it a little ways, though, and saw a few fish! I'm glad I at least gave it a shot.

But aside from that, you only had to wade in a little ways—maybe have the water up to your waist—and fish would be swimming around you. I constantly had at least three fish around my feet, that I kept running into, and a few swimming up around my upper body. It was so cool. And even in four feet of water, you could still see your toes perfectly; like I said, the water was incredibly clear.

Belize City was nice, about as nice as you'd figure a foreign city would be. But our tour guides were

extremely interesting and we learned a lot. I found the countryside of Belize to be really beautiful, so green and lush. Our excursion that day involved a tour of the city and visiting some Mayan ruins. The site we went to is called Altun Ha, and it dates back to 600 AD. They were very cool, and kind of took me back to my childhood days when I was very interested in Native Americans.

Our last stop was in Cozumel, Mexico, which we have been to once before. Cozumel is a little island off the Yucatan peninsula and it's very nice, yet very touristy. We got a cab and went down the road to a park, which had a beach and a few things to do. It was extremely nice, as we were able to just do it at our own pace. The other two days were planned excursions, which were great but after two days in a row we were getting exhausted, and this day we decided to do our own thing. So we slept in a little bit, got off the ship after most people already had, and stayed at the park until we felt like going back. It was a perfect, relaxing day and exactly what we wanted.

During our trip, we had two "fun days at sea", where you sail all day, then the three consecutive days in port, then one day at sea to head home. Our ship had an adult-only deck, which was nice (and actually enforced!), we found ourselves a nice spot on the side of the ship where hardly anyone was, and where you could only hear the ocean. The food was wonderful as always, and we loved our dining room waitstaff. I got adventurous and tried some new foods; I tried rabbit, crab cakes, raw smoked salmon on a bagel, fried shrimp, and frog legs. And these frog legs weren't fried, so I really tried frog legs. They were in like a lemon butter sauce, and I have to say the texture was similar to that of a chicken leg. They weren't bad. The rabbit wasn't bad either, but I didn't like the raw salmon or the crab cakes.

Like our last cruise, we spent a lot of time at the Alchemy Bar, which is a specialized martini bar Carnival has on some of their ships. The martinis they make are like none other I've ever had, and we love going there. We had "our" bartender we liked to go back to named Kateryna from Ukraine. She was great and actually spent a lot of time talking with us, which was cool.

The day we got back, we marathoned it home in 13 hours 50 minutes, which is pretty darn good driving all the way from Galveston. Round trip, I think we put about 1700ish miles on the new car, so you could say we officially broke in the new car.

It was such a nice, relaxing time. Much needed. I can't believe we've been back now for almost two weeks.

Unfortunately, though, not long after we got home I got sick. At first I thought it was allergies, and my body readjusting to our climate (ya know... since there aren't any trees in the middle of the ocean!) And I do think that was the problem... at first. But by the end of last week it was clear I was dealing with something much more severe than allergies. I called my doctor and I've been on a med for a week now without much change. We are going to try one more thing—different meds actually—but if this doesn't work I am going to be checking into the hospital.

It's a bummer, to say the least. I don't know that I caught whatever I did on the cruise, but who knows. It doesn't really matter at this point anyways. I've been having absolutely debilitating coughing fits, where they last 10-15 minutes and I can't do anything else. Really, the other day during work one of these fits struck and I was in the middle of typing something and it sat that way for ten minutes.

So please keep me in your thoughts and prayers that I can recover from this, though I have a feeling that I will be ending up in the hospital in the next week or two no matter what. The oral meds are a temporary fix, and I'm hoping they can get me through till next weekend when we have a wedding to go, but we'll just have to take it day by day.

I Needed a Wardrobe Makeover, and I Didn't Even Know It

I've been a busy bee for a couple days now.

Yesterday I decided it was high time to check off an item on my Spring Cleaning list: organize the hall closet.

We don't have any closets in our bathrooms so all of our extra toiletries, cleaning supplies, beach towels, and a bunch of random other things end up in our hallway closet. It's a small closet, with one of those smaller doors, and I felt more and more things were being piled in there with no order. So I pulled everything out, set it on our bed, and started going through it.

I pitched a lot of things and made better use of some tubs and bins we had in there that weren't being used well (like, they had two things in them!) I moved some things out of there that didn't really make sense (like hummingbird feeders) and put everything back together in a more orderly fashion. I have a shelf dedicated to cleaning, not much change there; a shelf now dedicated to health things like gloves, masks, alcohol wipes, neb carrying cases, etc; a shelf of toiletries, the freebies you get from the dentist, and other mini's you might like for traveling; and finally a shelf of randoms because, well, it's impossible to avoid. I was happy with the end result.

Today... oof, let me tell you. I attacked my closet.

You probably wouldn't find me on a show like What Not to Wear, but my closet needed a makeover. I didn't realize it, but I was holding onto so much clothes that I never really wore.

This all started last night. I read a blog post shared by Jarrod's cousin Melissa about some lady who got rid of nearly all of her clothes. She was inspired by a woman who advocates for doing a "capsule wardrobe." I was intrigued and amped up last night right before bed, and I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. So instead, I started looking through my closet and pulling out a few items to get rid of. I think I pulled out 8-10 things, I was happy, and I went to bed.

Today, I looked more into this blog called Unfancy by a woman named Caroline, which was the inspiration for the other woman's closet redo. A quick Wikipedia search told me that a "capsule wardrobe" was a term coined by a designer in the '70s and popularized by Donna Karen. The principal behind it is you have minimal clothes, but your wardrobe is filled with staple items that will never go out of fashion and can be paired with almost anything in season.

I started with Caroline's Unfancy strategy and adapted it for myself. She argues to have a 37-piece wardrobe of items that you absolutely LOVE, one for each of the 4 seasons. This wardrobe does NOT include pajamas, workout clothes, t-shirts, and the junk jeans you'd wear to work on your house. She broke each capsule down for herself into:

• 15 tops
• 9 bottoms
• 9 pairs of shoes
• 2 dresses
• 2 jackets/coats

I started to create my own plan. I didn't feel that having a set wardrobe for spring, summer, fall, and winter would really work for me. Our seasons bleed into each other so much, as evidenced by right now where it is 64 degrees, which is a tad chilly when it was 82 like last week. 

I ditched the jackets/coats category. I also didn't want to limit myself to so few dresses. Some recommend using Rent the Runway for special occasions, whereas I'd prefer to go find my own dress at the store. So for myself, I doubled her numbers, made changes, and broke it down to Spring/Summer wardrobe, and Fall/Winter wardrobe. I set my goals as:

• 30 tops
• 18 bottoms
• 18 pairs of shoes
• a roundabout goal of 70 items, give or take in the categories

And then I got to work.

If you want to actually pare down your closet, you MUST pull out everything on hangers and empty you drawers and lay it all out. She says it here, and I 100% agree. (I would also recommend washing anything dirty so that you have everything there, there's no use doing this twice.) Then I would sort things as either:

1. Love's – keepers
2. Maybe's [things that I only 'kinda' like, things that don't fit great, only holding onto for sentimental reasons, are worn out or faded, could be replaced] – put in box, store away, if you don't go back to them during the season, then get rid of them
3. Nope's – donate

I started with my shoes and classified them into Spring/Summer or Fall/Winter. There were a few crossovers (like black flats) but surprisingly most of them fit into either or the other label. I realized I'm not going to wear my peep-toe pumps when it's cold out, and I'm not going to wear my riding boots when it's 90° outside. Check shoes off the list!

Then I got to work on the bottoms. This involved a lot of trying on to make sure things fit. I realized I had two pairs of black dress slacks. Now yes, I've always known I had two pairs but this is a small testimony to why you have to pull everything out of your closet. Because then and there, I realized I had two pairs I hardly wear, since I'm no longer in a professional setting that requires them, so why do I need two? They were different sizes, so I put one in my Maybe pile, and kept the other for Fall/Winter.

Then I got to work on all of the tops & dresses I own. For my purposes, I divided them into the right seasonal category, then I started the hard part. Except, since I was already in the zone after going through the shoes and bottoms, it wasn't that difficult. Once I was done, I went back and added a few more items to my Maybe pile. 

I was curious how I did. I started counting things up and I actually did quite well! I ended up right on target to where I wanted to be. I didn't count tennis shoes towards my shoe count, and I kept jeans for year-round. But even so, here is how it all shook out:

I've got 31 items and 3 scarves in my donate pile. And I ended up with 49 items in the Maybe bin.

I did not end up with a "capsule wardrobe" by any means, neither was I setting out to create one. The idea was simply my jumping off point to actually clean up my closet and finally rid myself of things I never wear, or things that I don't absolutely love. Why put yourself in clothes that don't boost your confidence or make you happy?

I learned that I had held onto a lot of items with the idea that I might someday need them. I had a lot of things that I used to wear in high school too, which was 10 years ago. I don't wear these things anymore, and clearly I wouldn't find an occasion to wear them. I got rid of a lot of things because I realized they just weren't my style anymore. I used to wear very different clothes from what I wear today. At this point, hanging onto them thinking I might dip back into that style is just silly.

I have packrat tendencies, and I completely realize that I need to apply these ideas to a lot of the other STUFF in my life. But it's much more difficult to be so black and white, I love this or I don't like this, with objects from my past. Those are tied more to the memories and feelings they evoke than my clothes are.

But for now, I'm going to bask in my accomplishment and not worry about all of the other things I could possibly get rid of. I did a BIG thing today, and I'm very happy with how things turned out. Deciding what to wear just became easier, because there's less to choose from and my closet doesn't look nearly as overwhelming. I used to stow some items in the spare bedroom closet during their off season, but it wasn't as cut and dry as this. Now, my entire Fall/Winter wardrobe is in there, and I'm not touching it. When I bring it out in the fall, it'll probably feel a little more exciting, almost new in some ways. I'll assess again if there is anything I feel needs to go and shop for new things I might want, and hopefully this simple rotation will help keep my closet in check.

I wish I would have taken some 'before' pictures, but I was so anxious to get started I got everything out of the closet before the thought crossed my mind. So 'after' pictures will have to do:

Fall/Winter 

Spring/Summer

Life Is Amazing!

I watched a special on PBS' Nature the other day. It was the first of a three-part series about animal homes. This first episode was about bird nests. 

As you know, I love birds, but I hadn't given it much thought as to how many different kinds of nests there are. It's kind of amazing. As the episode showed about 6 or so different birds building their homes, they were all so unique. The little hummingbird makes his nest from plant fibers and spider silk; the osprey carries hundreds of pounds of sticks and builds up a colossal mess of a nest; the brush turkey in Australia just kicked back a giant pile of leaves, left the eggs to incubate inside the big pile, and then left them to fend for themselves like baby turtles who have to climb to the surface and find their way. I've included the video of the hummingbird below (if you don't see it, click here to go watch it on YouTube), because it was just fascinating. I love those little hummer birds, hopefully I'll have some in my backyard this year.

It was definitely one of the most interesting shows I've watched in a while. After it was done I was left with one thought: Life is amazing.

I mean, how often do we sit back and really ponder about life? No one birds how to do these things, why they should make a nest out of sticks or mud or leaves, they just DO them.

But beyond instincts and intuition, I got to thinking about how life is amazing on a cellular level. All life starts out as two tiny little cells, whether it's a person, a bird, a dog, a lion, a fish, anything. And somehow those cells divide, and somehow some of those cells become hair, and some become skin cells, and some of them become fingernails or claws, and some of them develop internal organs, and some of them develop noses and eyes, on and on. No one is making this happen, no one is telling these cells how to divide, it just happens!

Isn't that amazing? Like really, totally awesome, crazy amazing?

Back to the Gym

Last night I went back to the gym; it's been quite some time since I've been there. I've been walking the treadmill at home, but I honestly can't remember the last time I lifted weights.

And I've been feeling it too. There were some days where my muscles would kind of ache, but in a going backwards kind of way; like I could feel the strength draining slowly out or something. Once you do exercise and become more active, you are inevitably more aware of your body and therefore you also notice how you feel when you're inactive.

But it felt really good to go back last night. I don't know what it was, but yesterday morning I just decided "Today I am going. No more excuses." I was happy with the amount that I was able to do, as well. I have lost some strength, but I'm definitely not starting over, so that was good to see.

I don't know why, but it's been really hard lately to feel motivated to exercise. I have to exercise, as you know, but I allow myself a day or two off each week. Lately, it's been more like two or even three days off... which is not a good habit to slip into. I'm working really hard right now to get back on track. And I feel by putting this in writing, it might help me a little more.

I wish I could go lift more today, while I'm pumped up and excited to keep the momentum going, but I think it's best to let my muscles rest for a day, like you're supposed to anyways. My arms are a little tired, so they definitely need a day off. But here's to keeping it up—and if you've been like me, and a little on the lazy side, I challenge you to get back to it, too! It feels really good :)

Hap-py Dance!

Let me do my little happy dance... *does happy dance in seat

I had a checkup today, and I was expecting it to go so-so. I got sick, most likely with some sort of virus, two weeks ago. My only symptom was drainage, it was so odd. My symptoms went away within a week, which is amazingly quick for me, and I wasn't doing all that bad. Again, for me, it was a pretty mild whatever-it-was illness. But I have some lasting effects from it, primarily this really deep wheeze in one spot of my lung. Long story short (not really...) I was expecting my PFTs to be lowered due to this wheezing and maybe I'd come home on some oral meds.

Nope. Not the case!

Turns out, my PFTs were AMAZING! Not only have I maintained my levels since I got out of the hospital, but I have improved! And not just a tiny bit, but a GOOD bit! I went from a 0.90 to a 1.01! Usually we rejoice with small gains; like if I was at 0.95 I'd still be excited. But a 12% change?! That's really good.

So yeah, since I'm doing so well I definitely don't need meds right now. I just need to keep working at getting the gunk out of there with airway clearance and exercise.

I wanted to celebrate tonight so we went to Imo's and got a bacon cheeseburger pizza.  :)

The NYC Trip That Wasn't

I can't believe its been a week since we tried to go to New York City. I never wrote the specifics on here, but we were set to take a vacation to NYC to see Cabaret on Broadway, go to the WTC museum and memorial, go to the Met, eat some great food, and a myriad of other little things.

My story begins on Friday, actually, because we hit our first obstacle with this trip which is: Jarrod got sick. Talk about the worst possible timing. As you can imagine, he felt so awful about it, even though he had no control over it. So to keep me from our house of germs, I went and stayed at my parents', and Jarrod loaded up on Dayquil, Nyquil, and the zinc things to get over his cold as quickly as possible.

Then on Sunday, there was the news of the blizzard. The forecast was difficult to pin down, as with all snow forecasts, but said it would start snowing Monday morning, but be light and minor, with snow increasing and picking up by the evening, with the worst and 'blizzard conditions' to happen overnight.

The second obstacle was our flight got cancelled ahead of the storm on Sunday evening. We were supposed to leave STL at 10:55am and fly direct to LGA and arrive at 2:30 or so, with enough time ahead of the of the storm to get to our hotel and settle in for the next couple days. Instead, we were switched to a flight to DTW (which is Detroit), that left at 10:25am, layover for about an hour, then one that headed to LGA at 1:52, arriving at 3:40. This was iffy because we knew we could make it to Detroit, no problem, but 3:40 was much closer to when it was supposed to be snowing steadily than even 2:30 (I know it's just over an hour, but every minute counted here.)

Our entire goal for the day was to get to NYC and get to our hotel. We were going to be getting there before the worst of the storm, so it wasn't a big deal. We knew exactly how we were going to get from the airport to our hotel, we just needed to get there. Once I knew we were settled in our room, I would breathe a sigh of relief and enjoy my first blizzard inside my room.

We had crossed our T's and dotted our I's in preparation for this trip, health-wise for me. I got a note from my doctor, in case there were any questions about the medications and stuff I was bringing along, got the portable oxygen concentrator cleared for in-flight use with the airline, and told the TSA people everything they 'needed' to know about medical liquids, my port, and whatever. It was no big deal, at all. They wiped down the oxygen concentrator and tested that, which is nothing surprising, and we were on our way. Luckily I didn't have to lug my vest along and was using other methods of airway clearance, ones that are small, handheld, and could fit in my purse if I wanted. 

Our flight to Detroit went off without a hitch. I was getting butterflies in my stomach prior to taking off! We "pre-boarded" which is something you do if you need extra time or assistance boarding, and Jarrod admitted later that it was kind of nice being able to pre-board with me. 

When we landed in Detroit, we were at gate like A71, and the terminal is REALLY long. We had to get down to 39 or something like that, for our flight to LGA, which in reality wasn't all that far from boarding. It sounds like you have plenty of time: there is one hour layover between flights. But when we who pre-board get to go first, there really wasn't much time at all. We walked at a good enough pace, and thank goodness for those moving sidewalks. I bought some snacks at a shop because turned out we weren't going to have enough time to get lunch.

Sure enough, we were sitting at the gate, eating my Goldfish crackers, and it was about 5 minutes and then we boarded the plane.

So as the plane starts to board, the flight attendant came around saying to keep your coats with you and anything else under the seat in front of you that will fit. And the whole reason she was saying this was because if we had to take a delay because of baggage, we might miss our time slot into LGA. We were one of the last flights out to LGA, and we were the ONLY flight out of Detroit to LGA, so this was it. All or nothing.

Anyways, as people continued to get on, a... "situation" developed a few rows behind us. I don't know how it all started, but I guess a man wasn't feeling good and called over a flight attendant to himself. He was explaining to her all of his health problems, which included, at least, heart palpitations and diabetes. They took his blood pressure and it was 220/110! I don't know how the guy wasn't having a stroke. They told him he was unsafe to fly like that—no kidding—and then called in medical. I don't know how many medical people, flight attendants, and the pilot walked back there multiple times. And he said how he hasn't taken some medication he needs for days, because he ran out. Great...

The anxiety and frustration in the room was palpable, you could have cut it with a knife. EVERYONE wanted to get out of there NOW, because we all knew we were operating on a time crunch here, with just barely enough time to get to LaGuardia, IF we even made it at all. We were supposed to have taken off around 1:52pm, but it was already 2:15. So all these people kept coming onto the plane, and really, they should have taken the guy OFF the plane. So this guy, Fragile Heart Man, was sort of Obstacle #3. Eventually he told them he was feeling better, which on the surface sounded like a good thing, unless the guy would have a heart attack in the middle of the flight and then we'd have to make an emergency landing.

Ok, so then we were about to be on our way. The pilot told us that the weather wasn't bad at the moment, but if anything was ever deemed unsafe, they would reroute us to Norfolk. It took awhile more, but we finally backed out of the gate. We taxied out towards the runway. Then we stopped, and Jarrod made a face. Turns out he made that face because he audibly knew they had turned the engines off. Sure enough, the pilot came on and said "Well, as you can see, we are nowhere near a runway. We have been ordered under a ground stop for one hour from LGA due to weather and low visibility. So after an hour, at that time, they will re-evaluate the situation and we will know more at that time."

Everyone, and I mean everyone, was disappointed and sighed with frustration. I hopped on Twitter and news sites and such, and turns out we were 1 of TEN flights left that were grounded! That's it. That was all that was left in the entire country, that hadn't been already cancelled, heading to LaGuardia. That is an insanely small number, considering ten flights probably take off or land at LGA in the matter of a minute or two.

Not more than 10-15 minutes went by and the captain came back on to say the flight had been cancelled. Everyone was super disappointed, yet I doubt anyone was shocked at that point. The biggest question was if Fragile Heart Man cost us our flight. Eventually, sitting there, I silently cried. We gathered up our stuff and left the plane. Another guy behind us asked the pilot if that whole "situation" made any difference, and he said it didn't. In reality, the Fragile Heart Man might have saved us from being mid-air, and then having to land in Norfolk.

So after that we were instructed to go to a few different desks where they would rebook us on another flight.

We waited in line for a while and when we finally got up there, the lady told us our options. Turned out, we had already been rebooked... on a flight to West Palm Beach, then to LGA the next day! So we would have left for West Palm Beach, from Detroit, at 8am, gotten there around noon, had a 4-hour layover until 4:50 or something, and then another 2.5-3 hour flight to LGA, finally getting there around 8:00 in the evening. It would have been another entire day of traveling, would have been a long exhausting day too, and it was a very shaky plan, as no one was confident LGA would be open on Tuesday. We asked if there was any way we could get out on Wednesday morning and she said "Yeah, there's one at 7:25... no... 8:20... no... 10:15." Everything else had booked up while we were standing there! We said we'd keep the Palm Beach flight and think it over.

With the 10:15 flight, arriving around noon-something, there was no possible way we'd make it to our matinee show of Cabaret on Wednesday (which was at 2:00.) So we seemed to have 3 options, all varying in levels of complications:

1. Easiest: Come back home to STL, forfeit our trip.
2. Harder: The West Palm Beach plan, with the hope that the flight wouldn't be cancelled.
3. Hardest: Stay at the airport hotel for two nights, switch our Cabaret tickets to Wednesday or Thursday evening, hopefully fly out Wednesday morning.

We decided to call the theater to ask about switching our tickets after finding on their website that, due to the weather, they were allowing people to exchange their tickets on Tuesday & Wednesday performances. We weren't even wanting the same section of seats, anything, but there was NOTHING at all for Wednesday evening or Thursday evening performances, except for two tickets that would have cost us more. We would have had to pay the extra difference for them. Once he told me that, I waved my hand and said "Forget it."

At that moment, it was over. I felt all of my plans, my hopes, and my wishes of returning to New York City slip out of my hands in an instant like water. Cabaret was the entire reason we even planned to go on this trip at this time, in order to see the show before it closes in March, and to see it with Emma Stone in the lead role before she left mid-February.

Jarrod then asked if we could get a refund, and fortunately we could. So the lady began to process our refund. I hope someone else enjoyed our seats as much as we hoped to.

Now it was time for the hotel. We had talked to them a day earlier, asking if they would give us a refund, and they would not budge and said no. On Monday, though, it was a little different and they agreed to refund us our money, which was a huge relief. After we got the theater tickets refunded, and the hotel was in the process of being refunded, I hopped back in line at the Delta desk to get on a flight back home to STL. There were two options, one at 5:40pm, and one at 7:25pm. It was already 4-4:30, so the 5:40 option was no good; there would be no way we'd get supper. And we hadn't eaten lunch, so we really needed a meal. 

We finally got to the desk and I said "Hi again!" and smiled, trying to lighten the mood a little bit, you could tell she had some rough passengers to deal with. She remembered us, and we told her we changed our minds and would like to head back home to STL. She booked us on the 7:25pm flight. Then she said we would be able to get a partial refund, which was great. We were planning to ask anyway. She had to make a phone call, and I don't know what the deal was, but they put her on hold for a good 10-15 minutes. Finally she got approval of whatever she needed and printed us our new boarding passes.

So DTW has this awesome indoor tram that runs the length of the terminal (remember how I said it was a long terminal?), and boy was that nice. You could board at the far ends, and in the middle. So we took the escalator up and waited two minutes, at most, then got on board and rode down to the higher numbers where we needed to be.

We ate dinner at a brew pub of sorts, and both enjoyed a beer. But immediately when we sat down Jarrod said "Uh... can I see those boarding passes?" in a very concerned way. Our flight had already been delayed from 7:25pm to 9:00pm... yay. Also, our gate had moved to 51, so we had to go BACK to near where we were. We finished dinner and made the long trek back to gate 51, all the way from 80 (for reference, Terminals A & C at Lambert have 21ish gates total, this place had 81.) We sat down at the gate and they were handing out snacks, complementary because our flight had been delayed, which was a nice gesture.

The plane arrived on time, we pre-boarded once again, and things were shaping up well. We ended up getting out at 8:45, and I breathed a sigh of relief. They booked it home, too, and cut about 20 minutes off our flight time. We arrived at 9:00ish, so the flight was barely over an hour. I'd also like to add how happy I was we never checked any luggage. We were able to both pack in one carry on suitcase, and put extra shoes and all my meds stuff in a backpack. Thank goodness for that. 

I was extremely disappointed we didn't make it to New York, but after we got our refunds squared away and it was a done deal, I was relieved to get a flight back home and know I was not going to have to stay the night in Detroit.

Clearly we were not destined to go on this trip. It was a bummer to wake up Tuesday and see that NYC, in fact, did NOT get the predicted amount of snow, surprise surprise. They barely got 8 inches, and everyone was complaining that they blew everything out of proportion so badly, that it's almost comical that the city was SHUT DOWN at like 11pm Monday night (all cars were ordered off the streets, and the subway closed at 9pm, which is a first in its 100+ year history [and that one really doesn't make sense... it's underground! that's half the reason it's there is to get people around when there is weather, they could have easily closed some above-ground tracks without shutting the whole thing down.])

Some vacation, eh?

But hey, Jarrod had never been to Michigan so at least he got to cross that state off the map, right?