Books books books

Last night I finished 1984. It's about time, too... it only took me three years, haha. Anyways, I must say I am glad I read it, though I'm going to take a break from the dystopia books for a while. Had it not been for my true push to finally finish the book, and my self-made rule that I couldn't read anything else until I finished one of my books-in-progress, I might have put it back down. The ending is a very uncomfortable one, and I tell you, when he looked at himself in the mirror, that was the worst of it for me. I can't explain why, but it was. Anyways, still glad I read it and it's 'message' is kind of percolating in my brain right now.

So I woke up early this morning in order to get a good shower in, since I'm heading to the hospital and won't get one for another week. And I had time to start another book. I chose to start reading Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God. I started the book, and after 20 minutes of reading, I closed it. I decided to look up the reviews on Amazon about the book. I was specifically hoping to find someone out there who said something like "Being a Catholic, I still thought this book was great" but I found no such thing. I found one review that said this: "His disclaimers aside, it is my opinion that Francis truly, deep down, believes that the believer's work is mystically tied into their salvation. His denials are only at a superficial level so that he can remain "evangelical" and avoid the necessary soul-searching that might lead him toward a Roman Catholic-esque theology." which I found interesting. Anyways, let me step back and explain this Amazonian search: the book was written to "Christians" and had lingo of "Being a good American Christian" and things like that, and I just can't get into that. Catholicism is still Christian, yes, but there is a huge difference between our beliefs and those of a non-denominational Christian (the author.) Never once has my priest ever, EVER said in mass "as good Christians we should blah blah blah." (he usually says good stewards, servants, or something like that.)

Needless to say, I'm taking this book back. I'm sure there's a nice message in it, but it's just not for me. Plus, the whole thing is just one big ongoing sermon. Nah, I think I'll pass. And if I do feel the need to read it, I'll get it from the library.

State of the Lungs Address

Well folks, it's that time again—3:30am when Jamie is coughing and decides to write a blog! Yay for that... not exactly.

Anyways, I had a doctor's appointment today and, well, it did not go so great. It was a follow-up to my December appointment, in which my PFT numbers were lower, so they had me do a course of antibiotics by mouth, at home. So basically, this was a check to see if I'd gotten better or not.

I did my PFT (pulmonary function test) and was shocked by the results, a bad shocked. The lady asked me "Have you been sick?" I said no. But even after a few more tries, my numbers never improved. At that moment, she grabbed a pulse/ox and my oxygen levels were only 94%, which is not terrible but fairly low for me as I am usually in the 97%+ range. I can't remember the total volume of air I blew out, but my FEV1 (which is the amount of air blown out within the first second) was at 33%. This was 10% lower than last time, in December, which is a huge drop. What this all means is that for a person of my height and weight, my lungs are expelling 33% of the air they should be. In other words, 33%-ish of my lungs is working, the rest is sort of on sick leave. There are other amounts measured in the PFT, such as total volume and FEV2 (2 seconds) but the FEV1 is what most of their diagnosis is based on. I'm not totally sure as to why this is, but studies and such over the years and years of CF care have shown that this number, more than the others, indicates most accurately how the person is feeling and the rate their lungs are declining.

This all was quite a shock for me, actually. I have not felt terrible and my cough hasn't been outrageously bad (the cough is usually what signals to me that it's time for a tune-up.) I'm a tad short of breath, but even that isn't that bad. So as I was sitting waiting for the doctor, I was on the verge of tears. The news was just unexpected and I didn't think I should be coming back in the hospital this soon, which is what I knew we would have to do.

So, yes, this means a trip to the hospital for me. I am planning to go in next week. I guess I should be thankful I don't feel that bad that I need to come in tomorrow. Jarrod and I will celebrate our anniversary this Saturday, and I would like to at least enjoy that (as much as I can.) We've been together for five years. Also, I wanted to see our friends at Trivia Night this weekend too.

I'm pretty bummed about the whole thing, but I'm sure tomorrow will be better. This is all just a part of a 'routine' for me, so it's nothing too crazy, I suppose.

House update

Well we've barely been in the house for a week and we have started painting. I was over there yesterday to try my hand at it, and for a first-timer I think I did pretty good. I gave a shot at cutting it too, doing the edging around door frames, the ceiling, etc. Obviously painting a house is different than painting a canvas, but it came fairly natural for me since I did previously paint paintings. The biggest difference was that this paint dries much faster. I never worked with oils, which are the most viscous and slow-drying, but took a liking to acrylics. Acrylics are still a little more workable than latex wall paint, so you have to work semi-fast.

Anyhoo, we have done all the blue rooms so far and Jarrod is starting on the green today. So far, I really like the blue color I chose (which is good, haha.) It is exactly what I hoped for: it would look blue, but it wouldn't be like "Hey I'm BLUE," in-your-face blue.

I brought a handful of things over to the house yesterday, such as my dishes from college, some extra plastic plates, plastic cups, and some plastic flatware. Mom and I need to take a trip back to Cosco and get a huge box of that stuff sometime, so in the meantime, I never thought I'd necessarily do this, but I am washing the plastic so we can reuse because I don't have all that much, haha. Jarrod is going to move in there sometime soon, so we'll need to decide if we wanna continue with this big box of plastic stuff or buy some cheapy silverware for him to use until we get some good stuff. I don't know yet. I already have a big list of new things to bring with me next time I go over there.

And on another note, I am so happy to be better! Thursday and Friday I was home with a bad stomach flu. I honestly don't know that I've ever had a true 'stomach flu' like this... the kind where you can't keep anything down and the whole bit. Thursday night my supper consisted of beef broth and oyster crackers. Friday I was able to handle a little more as the day went on, and I actually had a turkey and mashed potatoes meal from Bob Evans that night. It went well, and my stomach didn't feel too crazy, and I was sooooo happy to have FOOD again. Anyways, yesterday I felt fine and was able to eat semi-normal again. I obviously didn't dive in and eat fried food or hot wings or something, but I didn't feel bad at all yesterday. I was so thankful! It felt great to be able to eat again.

New year post one

Happy New Year, whoever reads this!

Well, tomorrow is a big day for Jarrod and me: we close on our house. I am praying tonight that everything goes smoothly and we aren't there for hours and hours waiting on... something.

Today mom and I went around and did a little shopping. I used some of my Christmas money to buy some sweat pants I didn't get for Christmas. The exciting part is they were on clearance at Aeropostale, so yay for that! Then we went to Bed, Bath, & Beyond where I finished up a few things on my registry. Then we went to Costco for the usual random giant items.

I have to tell you something exciting, though. First of all, I'm excited for our new house. It's new, it's small, it's perfect for us. Second of all, I'm excited about my paint colors! I finally decided on them today, and I have a fun little side story:

I was debating between a light mauve or green for our bathroom. I picked out towels and accessories earlier that were dark brown, and they went with both of the paint swatches I had brought, so no problems there. Anyways, tonight I decided to read up a little on paint colors and choosing them. So I was reading about have a "color scheme" and then I realized something: all of my colors I'd picked out were all earth-tones! I had a blue, a green, and a tan. The only one that didn't fit that "scheme" was the purple. So that was the nail in the coffin: no purple. I am super excited now, because I honestly didn't even realize this whole 'earthy' feel I've got goin'. But it's awesome because I love being outside, I love trees, I love birds, and I love fresh air so I think it was some awesome sub-conscious thing that I gravitated towards these colors. Call me crazy.

So the THIRD thing I'm excited about is the hall bathroom. Briefer side story: I'd been debating what to do with it. I like ducks, but didn't know if I should do that in the new house. I don't feel like I can shove my cutesy-loving personality to the side constantly, but I didn't know that ducks were the way to go. Today at BBB, I found an even BETTER solution: hummingbirds! They had a shower curtain and whole ensemble that was a very sophisticated blue, tan, and white with a hummingbird design. I loved it, and I am so excited that I found it, seeing as I love hummingbirds. More than ducks, too.

I would like to go one record and say I am sick of the Honda commercial with the Vampire Weekend "Holiday" song. I don't have a problem with Vampire Weekend, but they have successfully ruined that song. Also, it bugs me that I have no clue what he is singing at the end of it... it sounds like "Holiday oh holiday, and the best one of the year...[insert Honda verbiage]...Holiday, oh holiday 'ouldn' s'top 'y 'eeeere' "

Our food

About a month ago, maybe more, I watched a documentary called Food Inc. It was great, as far as documentaries go, and I felt they laid out the information quite well. Food Inc. is about the America food industry today; I believe it was made this year or in 2009, so it's pretty relevant. The basic message is: we as consumers have no idea where our food is coming from or what is in it. Neither do we band together and rise up to demand this info, we're all just kind of okay with our more-fat, worse-tasting foods we are being given. I could go on, but I will stop there.

Funny thing is that this completely coincides with a book I started reading over the summer called Animal, Vegetable, Miracle which is a great non-fiction book about a family's quest to eat local and grow their own food. Again, similar facts are presented about the food industry and how bad it has become in such a short time.

Well, I stumbled upon this article this evening and just had to post it. I loved it. I always like reading the posts that this guy writes. He is the author of the "Eat This, Not That" books and, although I am one of few who should eat "that" not "this", I still love reading these articles.

And what do you know, the first thing he writes about is the beef industry, which was a topic in Food Inc., which said the same thing: the beef you get at your supermarket, most likely, is actually made of many different cows. (Ew. I'm SO glad we buy part of a steer locally... now to find someone who has chickens...anyways...)

But the main reason I'm posting this is because of a bit of irony (or happenstance, or what have you.) The next thing he talks about is BacO's, those "bacon bits" that are somehow more like cereal than bacon pieces. Less than an hour ago, I was putting the cheese back in the fridge, and I saw our "Real Bacon Pieces" and thought to myself 'I wonder what those other, weird, bad bacon pieces are actually made of? It can't be bacon.' Now I have my answer.

Next bit of weirdness is that earlier tonight we played Fact or Crap and one of the questions was about the fat in avocados. I didn't realize they were so fatty! Anyhoo, the next thing he talks about in the article is avocado dips and how UN-avocadoey they are. Funny, because I thought that too last time mom got one for me (for a Mexican lunch thing at work) and I had her take it back because it A, looked gross, and B, avocado was one of the last ingredients on the list. That just didn't sound right.

So... in conclusion: go read that article, and if you're interest is peaked, as mine was, about this food-deception that seems to be happening, check out a book or documentary about it too. There's some definite shadiness going on, and I'm enjoying learning about it. You just have to be prepared for some things you might not want to know, because you WILL get grossed out at some point.

House-buying coming to a close

Christmas has come and gone, and now I am waiting for New Year's Eve. We had plans until this evening, when our hostess had to cancel her party because she has the flu. That's a shame, and now I don't know what we'll be doing, but I definitely appreciate her canceling now, versus later, and being mindful of getting everyone sick. Obviously, she earns a couple brownie points in my book for her consideration.

Anyhoo, Christmas was good and I got some wonderful gifts. Jarrod and I, together, got a garage door opener (something we needed for our house), which was quite exciting, and a Blu-Ray player. I got a nice KitchenAid stand mixer too! I also got some snowmen, a couple sweaters, a bath wrap, two pairs of earrings, Beauty and the Beast (yep, you read that right), a cook book, and some other things. Jarrod got me some flannel pajamas I asked for, and they are awesome. I've never owned flannel pajamas before, and I am reveling in the comfort and softness!

Now I am, as I said, waiting for New Year's Eve. But more than that, I'm waiting for next Monday. Next Monday is when we close on our house. I just want the day to come and be over with, honestly. This whole process has been stressful and kind of hectic, to say the least; I am so glad that it is coming to a close. After today, we are for sure locked in for our mortgage rate and so on, which means no more running here and there to sign this and that and somehow email it or fax it over to the right person by 5:00pm. Thank. God.

As I told a few people: Jarrod and I NOT living together during this was mega inconvenient. We are obviously not in favor of that anyways, as I am not moving in with him before June, but it was really difficult to be 35 minutes away during this process. Anyways, that part's over, so now we just have to "hang in there", as our realtor put it, until Monday.

Charity

This time of year calls to mind the idea of giving, and also giving to charity. Most wide-spread, probably, is the Salvation Army. The red kettles pop up around Thanksgiving every year since I can remember, and even now there are digital kettles you can donate to online in competition-like manner, supporting one radio host's kettle versus another.

Everyone has their charities they donate to and don't donate to; it's definitely personal preference. I am going to go out on a limb and take a slightly controversial stance against one that I see this time of year: The Little Wishes campaign for foster children.

Every year, channel 5 here has this "Little Wishes" campaign. Year-round, they support things with foster care, which is fine. But the Little Wishes really bugs me, and here's why: it's expensive. If a person wants to grant a "Little Wish" for a child, you better expect to pay a minimum of $35. Why? Because they don't offer any gifts to choose that cost any less than that. The cheapest toys on their website are 35 dollars. I'm sure some would argue that is not much, but I'm sorry: beggars can't be choosers. Maybe this is not the right attitude to have about it, especially in light of Christmas, but that's just how I feel. This year, I am not even spending $35 on gifts for people I KNOW. I just feel that asking for the things these kids ask for (which span all the way up to $200 toys) is a little much. I would gladly donate to St. Vincent de Paul Society, who helps people who are probably in worse shape than foster children, and they don't ask for $35 items. I can easily afford to give a little girl a sweatshirt that has a cute animal on it, which was one of the ornaments our family pulled off the giving tree this year.

I guess it's all in how a charity is run, but I just don't understand how the child can't be happy with a $20 or $15 toy.

Oh happy day

God works in strange ways, that is for certain. Yesterday, I actually received a call about a job application (after I wrote that blog) for a Front Desk person at Club Fitness. I was excited that I finally had heard SOMETHING from SOMEONE on a job. I called the woman back and had a successful mini-phone interview (phew), but then she said that she actually wasn't in need of a front desk attendant but a babysitter. So she said I should think about it and I could let her know. Well, that was a let down because me watching kids does not work; kids have many germs, and it would not work out good for me.

So I was disappointed, obviously, but reassured at the same time that 'Yes, I am doing something right here.'

Well, today my plan was to spend the day in my pajamas and clean my room a bit. I didn't really clean anything, but instead I started to go through some things. As in: my huge assortment of stuffed animals. I realized that I have never gone through them, so I currently have every animal I've ever had, plus a few of mom's, haha. I found a cat with a "I <3 Lynn" shirt on and her Mary Poppins doll from when she was a kid (which is awesome, I must say; it's this great hand-made doll from the 60s.) But then I got a call from Mary, who I went on CRHP retreat with and who my parents have also known for years. She said they were short on help at her company and wanted to know if I could come in today to talk with her.

Sure! Of course I can! I met Mary at 2:00, we talked, and was offered a job doing part time random office work. This is kinda funny because at my previous job, I ended up doing a lot of random things too. But, I am so excited about this. I think this will be so refreshing. I can just tell already that the atmosphere there is different from my former workplace; much more friendly and warm.

God works in strange ways... My parents ran into Mary and her husband on Black Friday at a local bakery. Had that not happened, she might have not realized I was out of work... and so on and so on. It's so wonderful. I am SO thankful I have something for now. The schedule I'll be on works out great, too. It'll be about 24 hours a week.

I start tomorrow!

Can we say 'stress'?

1. I think we need to start praying to St. Joseph for some intercession on the house hunting. He is the patron saint of house hunting, so... yeah!

2. I'm not quite sure how my body is handling all this stress right now. I don't feel overly stressed, but I'm sure it is taking its tole on me. I have barely been getting any sleep because nightly I wake up coughing at least once for 2 hours. Two nights ago I think I got two hours of sleep, after waking of 5 separate times. So not much sleep. Next is that I'm pretty darn busy: I'm looking for a job, looking for a house (which takes up way more time than I thought it would), planning a wedding, trying to keep in contact with people, watching my bank account go down because of Christmas presents, and trying to stay healthy too. I have been out of work for a month now, and I haven't received one call or email or reply whatsoever about any job I've applied to. So that's encouraging... So add that worrying to all of this, and I just don't know when or what day I'm finally going to snap, whether it's mentally or by way of getting sick. I figure my body can only handle so much. The only plus in this is that I'm NOT at work, thus not exposed to as many germs.