Easter

Happy Easter everyone! It's been a good day today, starting with mass, visiting with family, sitting outside, and then visiting with more family. Mass was great. We decided to go to Lourdes, so that was nice to see everyone; Lourdes is still my parish 'family'. Our priest told a cheesy joke to start off his homily, and it's hilarious to see him sprinkle everyone with holy water because he just laughs the whole
time watching everyone's reactions to getting wet. It was some of the most beautiful weather today too, and it was great to sit outside all day. We're back home now, and trying to chill a little.

Easter today meant a little more to me than usual. I can't remember the last time I updated this, but here's the latest on my health: I'm doing so-so. Unfortunately all the meds and treatments we did in the past few months did nothing for me, and I'm still where I was when we started. That's just the way things have to be right now. My body needs a break from meds right now, so that's mainly why I'm not back on something. Of course, were I to get sick, we would treat it, but since I've not caught something, I just have to hang tight. But I'm not gonna lie: it sucks. It really sucks. I'm coughing more than I ever have in my life (for a normal day), my treatments don't go too far, and I am frequently tired and worn out. I'd say almost every day, by the end of the day, I'm feeling pretty blah (as in, not breathing well) and I'm also tired. This past week I've been waking up every night coughing as well, and/or coughing when I lay down to fall asleep. So I've probably been averaging four hours of sleep on top of all this.

I had a huge breakdown and let out a lot of anger and frustration about this on Friday, and then today's Easter message spoke to me. In our priest's homily he was talking about believing in the risen Lord
and turning to Him when we feel hopeless and helpless... I can't think of two better words to sum up how I felt on Friday night. So Easter, for me, really felt like God was trying to call me back, remind me He's still there.

But I now realize that He's been doing that for a while. And will continue to. Yesterday at the baby shower, I had many people ask me how I was doing. But it wasn't your typical greeting of "How are you?" It was a true, caring "How have you been doing?" or "How are you feeling?" This morning at mass, I had more people ask me how I was doing and said they were praying for me. My friend Doris, who is the most religious woman I know, greeted me with "May the risen Lord heal you!" and hugged me saying she had been offering up Holy Week for me. God is definitely talking to me through all these special people. It's slightly strengthening, even when I feel like I have none.