Efficiency

I strive to be a very efficient person in my daily tasks. Every morning, while my breakfast is cooking in the toaster or in the microwave for three-point-five minutes, I proceed to get out all of my morning pills, which takes about two minutes of my time. Or I'll make coffee. In the shower, I hate having to wait for the soap to run to the end of the bottle, so I will usually buy soap pumps or turn the bottle upside down even if it's not running low; it takes seconds off of my time otherwise wasted waiting for the soap to come out. If I have multiple errands to run and stops to make, I will map out the best route in my head ahead of time so I can maximize drive-time. By nature, I walk at a fairly good pace (I'd never make it in the South, people there like to take things slow and easy... haha.)

It's something that is ingrained in me, somehow. Maybe it's something I picked up from my parents. Maybe it's because subconsciously, I want to make the best use of my minutes since I have to dedicate so many of them to treatments and taking care of my CF. Who knows.

But having a lung disease does not allow for efficiency.

More and more, I find myself getting winded when I'm walking, and I have to consciously slow down my pace. I wouldn't say I'm rushing, just walking at a decent speed. But, I also have my short legs working against me and it always takes at least 1.5 steps for me, when it might take someone of average height 1 step to cover the same distance. But I have to make myself walk slower, nonetheless, so I don't put myself into a coughing fit.

Sometimes, if I'm sick, I have to go about my entire day at a slower pace and again consciously, deliberately slow myself down.

And I hate it.

I really don't think I'm trying to cruise through life without stopping to smell the roses, but all of this made me wonder: maybe I am? Should I quit worrying about constantly saving a minute here and there? Part of me says No, those minutes add up, and part of my says Jamie, you're being silly, let it go. Why not worry about the other minutes your ARE actually wasting?

Sometimes my dog will remind me to literally stop and smell the roses. Or an evergreen bush—there's something interesting about one of them that she always has to stop and investigate. She always makes me smile when she does that. Am I missing out on other opportunities to smile in life?