Tale of an Undecided Voter

For the entire election season, I have been consistent in my immense distaste for both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump.

For weeks, I have been adamant that on election day, I would go to the polls. I would vote in the state races, but I would be leaving the box for president blank.

Then today was the day.

Usually about a week before the election, you start hearing musings such as "If anyone is still undecided at this point, that's ridiculous" or "How on earth could you not know who you're going to vote for at this point?"

Up until this morning I was steadfast in my decision. Then I felt like my protest of not voting wasn't much of a protest at all, and I needed to pick someone. After all, it's not like anyone counts up the amount of votes not cast. I texted a couple people in a state of panic over the bundle of nerves I found in my stomach.

In the afternoon I drove to my polling place and parked.

And I sat in my car mindlessly browsing through my phone for 15 minutes. I wasn't looking at anything, it was just my cover up to avoid staring into space while I still was trying to decide what I was going to do.

I finally decided it was time to walk in; I couldn't delay this any longer.

I filled out my entire ballot, except for the first question. And I sat there for another 10 minutes staring at the boxes for president, trying to still decide what I wanted to do. Should I leave it blank? Should I pick someone?

I started to fill in a box. Immediately as I made my outline, my stomach dropped.

I filled in the box completely. And stared at my choice. For a moment, I thought of going and asking for a new ballot saying I had changed my mind. For a moment, I felt good about it. For a moment, I almost cried.

But I just sat and stared. Another 10 minutes. All the people who walked in with me had come and gone, new people coming and going.

In the end, I knew I had to get up at some point, just like I knew that eventually this day would get here. Walking to turn in my ballot, my inner voice was wondering if I had made a choice that I could be okay with.

I turned in my ballot. It's over, done. No going back. No redo's.

I think I made the right choice for me.