Getting back to normal

I've finished with my home IV meds, thank goodness. I was taking two meds, the one which I'm allergic to, hence the Benedryl. We actually decided to halt that one on Saturday. I'd been starting to have more side effects issues and I ran my morning dose that Saturday, had a couple more things going on, and decided it was time to call it quits. I finished the other one out until Monday evening.

I tell ya, taking all that Benedryl this time really wore on me. I felt tired nonstop, I had no energy for things, I had no motivation. I had no appetite, I practically had to force myself to eat. Ya know, I can tolerate 25 mg pretty easily. Yeah, I'm a bit tired, but it is nothing like taking 50 mg all the time.

Saturday after I stopped, and wasn't on Benedryl constantly, it's as if a fog started to lift.

The two days following, it was as if all of the allergies and everything that had been held back during that time suddenly whooshed forward. My nose was running constantly, I was coughing more. It was awful, and weird. And then, it ended. So I at least feel back to normal on that front.

But right now my biggest issue is sleep. I feel like I've forgotten how to fall asleep! Since I was constantly tired, I would lay down and rest a lot, even if I didn't fall asleep. But most times I did, because I was so damn tired. I think I had a surplus of sleep, because the day I stopped the Benedryl I couldn't fall asleep until 5am, but I felt fine the next day. And I've struggled sleeping ever since. It really sucks.

Today I went back to work. I'm glad to because I'm happy to have a routine again. I semi-dread the day I will no longer be able to work (and hopefully that's still years away) because it is so hard to provide yourself structure day in and day out when there is no reason to. I'm not the kind of person who can just work up the motivation to hold myself accountable for that kind of stuff. I'm an "obliger" and struggle with that.

Unfortunately work was crazy nutso, but whatever. I woke up early, got everything done for the day so far, and feel like I can keep moving forward. Here's hoping I can rediscover how to sleep again!